Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Do not get upset
"Do not get upset with people or situations. Both are powerless without your reaction."
No clue who said this, simply found it online and despite my recent efforts to do "better" -- yesterday was yet another day when I just had this horrible attitude about almost everything. I did almost nothing, but the few interactions I had (even just taking the dog out)... I do not want to say that everything "made" me upset... Yet I felt upset. Continuously. I was perfectly aware, in the back of my mind, that it was stupid and utterly pointless. And I still had the urge to scream or throw something or just curl up and cry.
Nothing had happened that was out of the ordinary, there was nothing that should have caused such powerful reactions -- and yet there they were again. I continue to just feel -- frustrated? helpless? tired? ...I continue to feel at a loss and no, despite trying, I cannot currently change that I can react to pretty much anything (whether good, bad, or in-between) with some type of an over-reaction that is not needed. Nor does it help anyone, including myself. Especially not myself. Even little achievements wear me out and make me feel useless and just...
I am sorry. I feel...guilty? Also frustrated.
And still, I feel OH. SO. TIRED.
...Maybe tomorrow will be different?