10.11.12

Four photos of sunsets taken during some of my walks the past two weeks:

The colors blend so effortlessly -- the sky reminds me of a watercolor

 
Am glad the clouds came out so well in this photo

Got this one in at the end of one walk but was too tired to stay outside and see how the sky kept changing, instead I grabbed more water and sat down!

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One of my oldest friends sent me an email yesterday that made me smile and made me sad at the same time -- she is back in France with her family, and my godson and his twin sister apparently miss me and have asked for me by name! (Other family/favorite things from CA also, but I particularly loved and missed the four of them when I read about them asking about me... I am so blessed to have my parents, grandparents, family and friends -- I lost so many when my health turned my life down a different path but being online has brought some friends back into my life yet so many live far away now and there are just some days I feel an absolute need to have my godson/his sister/other young kids give me little kid hugs. Wrapped up in their games and able to see the world through the eyes of a child, even for a few minutes, helps so much. Walking more is hopefully helping "fix" the various health things I have had recently, but my emotional health got such a "high" being able to spend days at a time with them! Miss working with infants/toddlers too...)

Health Rant (?)

I think that I have always been more of an introvert... I usually am quite stable... Also when caring for young children and/or am in a very comfortable situation (or I know I "need" to be a hostess) I can become more extroverted.  This image came from a friends F.B. page and I decided to post it against my better judgement.

Well, not exactly.  I decided to post it because since July I have been going around in circles and yesterday (Friday) I realized that I had hit pretty much every single item suggested on the entire image (plus more if that is possible?)... I try to post something here daily because it is something that keeps me connected.  I am getting help but some days it seems like my health sets me up against the world to fail at absolutely everything. Yesterday was a perfect example of crazy - I slept for about 16 hours, only getting up maybe three times and stayed awake perhaps half an hour each time.  Then around 8pm I knew I had to go for a walk because I had not walked since Sunday and I did great, just over a mile again.  Once I got back however I felt like I was going to collapse, even after eating and extra water. I rested yet again then double checked my doctors appointments for the coming week (two), finished the last three chapters of my book, and am trying to watch television so I can be up for maybe three hours (yet I am already feeling tired).  So frustrated on one hand, but on the other... I walked today so that is good right?

Stressed, tired, frustrated -- and very bothered that I cannot (that I do not want?) to pretend that things are okay.  At least not today. Putting on a happy face does not make things better and yet I dislike posting continuously negative types of things.  Shall try to turn things around at least a bit this weekend... Temperatures are finally continuing to go down which is a much needed relief! Thank you for any extra positive thoughts that can be sent my way, I am just...stuck.

Walk

Yesterday was a very good day when it came to my recent attempts to go walking more - yes, I know that it may not be impressive by others standards, however I did end up walking just over a mile (slightly steep walk up then back down).  Am glad that I was able to go so far -- the "marker" I had been able to go to had been much shorter.  Downside of course (as usual!) was after I finished I felt so exhausted and drained that I could not eat for a while -- although of course I did make sure to sip water.  With the heat going back up I am pleased with my decision to continue walking either later in the evening (I am NOT a morning person still!) or to go walking indoors (ie wander around just wasting time doing errands) -- getting up and out of the house several days a week is much better than I had been doing so I am going to say that I am currently pleased with my health.  I am also pleased that there are new episodes of my favorite shows on television and with my reading!