Gift of Flowers

Happy Sunday Everyone!

Gift of pale pink gerber daisies!

Just had to share this photo of some lovely flowers I was given for a "just because" gift.  Am anticipating a fun (but long) evening -- family friends from Mexico are in town and spending the afternoon/evening with us! Also a chance that my sister and her son Baby K shall visit...

What you really want cannot be bought

During December I found this image/quote online yet did not find the time to post it.  Wanted to share it today because there were literally only three things on my Christmas "list to Santa" this year: vaseline or plain chapstick; a new set of sheets for my bed; to spend more time with people (especially family) whom I love.

I think as you grow older your Christmas list gets smaller
and the things you really want for the holidays can't be bought

Overall I have been blessed and quite lucky to have gotten nearly everything I wanted this past Christmas -- this past year included special events (wedding, baptism, birthdays, etc) with both sides of my family tree as well as various family friends!!  However my sister C and her son ("our" grandson, godson, nephew) Baby K have not slept in their beds here since the night before Thanksgiving.  In a way it is helping remind me that people make their own choices and if I talk about rights -- well, it is not my "right" to see my nephew.  Perhaps this separation is necessary (although only God knows what the future holds/why things occur) and hopefully it will serve as the longest period of time we shall all have to spend cut off ... disconnected ... apart ... Eventually I believe (I hope) we can all appreciate and enjoy spending time together -- life is too short as it is.  Thankfully I am no longer mad, I am more hurt/disappointed.  Better for health, yes? Also with certain "free time" I have forced myself to return to cleaning and sorting/donating which is a bonus

Prayers... Taylor, Michael, Abigail, Gloria WunderGlo, and more

Gerber Daisies -- yellow to represent a certain family but these
are also the unofficial flower of our high school (FSHA - Flintridge
Sacred Heart Academy)... Sure to be at Gloria's life celebrations which
start tonight (she was one year ahead of me in high school) - more in this post

 January 10th (2014)

Initially lit a couple years back for angel Taylor. For me this
image reminds me not only of her - also of two of her angel siblings
(Michael and Abigail) -- also many others who gained their wings too early.
Always in my thoughts and prayers -- the angels and their families.

Already posted this week, however Gloria "WunderGlo" diagnosed with stage four colon cancer at age 28.  She fought long and hard yet finally passed away Sunday after getting to celebrate her 32nd birthday, last Christmas, and last New Years on earth. Viewing and rosary tonight with a full day of celebrations tomorrow (info located here). If you are a Face.Book individual you can also simply type in Gloria Borges

Friday, Jan 10th 6pm-9pm
Viewing and Rosary at St. Robert Bellarmine Catholic Church
133 N 5th St, Burbank, CA 91504

(Saturday, Jan 11th
10:15am-12:30pm/Memorial Tribute at Walt Disney Concert Hall/111 S Grand Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90012
12:30-1:30pm/Light Reception in the Blue Ribbon Garden
2:00pm/Funeral Mass at The Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels/ 555 W. Temple St, Los Angeles, CA 90012
3:15pm/Procession to Interment Ceremony at Forest Lawn Memorial Park/6300 Forest Lawn Dr, Los Angeles, CA 90068

Open House Celebration Party immediately following at WunderGlo’s house
3260 Bennett Dr, Los Angeles, CA 90068)

 January 10th (2014) ... Has become another day to stop and remember many, and as the image below reminds me, [we] must pray hardest when it is hardest to pray.  Love, prayers, support, and ::HUGS:: to so many, named and un-named, as well as their families and loved ones

Life Is Not Always Perfect

"You need to see that life is not always perfect. We will not always get what we want. And though it hurts a lot, what should've happened, happened. Who should've left, left, and whatever's thrown you off course will always bring you to where it is you need to be." (Unknown author; image found online)

With a new year many people, myself included, often take a closer look at what has passed and at what is to come.  I know I tend to blame myself even when things are not my fault -- this quote reminds me that I am not responsible (at least not always!) for where I am in life.  Other people make decisions that can help me or hurt me -- I am the only one who can decide how others/their choices will change (or not change) my life.  This second quote/image was also found online and it is another good reminder:

"Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace." (again, unknown author)... Life should not be a constant string of stressful moments, nor is it to be perfect. The ups and downs of life help remind us that we are to have faith and let go... Am hopeful that this new year I can face both the ups and the downs with more grace than I have previously

New Year's Day 2014!

"Ring in 2014 ~ HAPPY NEW YEAR"

Today is the first day of a new year -- prayers and hopes that good wishes/events/happy times are waiting for everyone during 2014. Especially lots of quality time with loved ones! ::HUGS::

Welcome to 2014! (sparklers ~ another online image)

P.S. In case you have not guessed, living in Southern California means that every New Year's Day is absolutely to include The Rose Parade! Perhaps many of you have seen it on television, or in person?

New Year's Eve 2013

(NewtonPendulum) 2013/2014

The last day of the year of our Lord 2013 has arrived!  Many good things have happened over the past year... the last few months (and days!) of the year have brought trials and tribulations... Am very hopeful that 2014 shall help return everyone to a good place, better health, more time with family and friends, everything positive that is wanted/needed!

Ocean waves washing away 2013 and leaving a new 2014 (NYE)

One of my favorite Christmas gifts this year was a desktop calendar for 2014 of Downton Abbey!  Season Four of Downton starts on PBS here in CA in just a few short days - and I have yet to finish re-watching all of the first three seasons to catch up and get back into the wonderful world of Downton!  Shall have to get right on that...

Downton Abbey 2014 Desktop Calendar

Have a good (and safe) New Year's Eve and may tomorrow be the start of a wonderful New Year for all!

December 28th

Example of a Completed Christmas Day Advent Wreath
(purple.purple.pink.purple.white) ~ the single white
candle in the center is added on Christmas Eve and
lit at midnight/on Christmas Day to celebrate
the birth of Jesus

So today's image is an example of a completed Advent Wreath (lit on Christmas Day ~ the single white candle in the center is usually added on Christmas eve and is lit at midnight/on Christmas Day to celebrate the birth of Jesus)

Today I am also remembering YESTERDAY, December 27th, 2013

One: We had dinner with some of my Dad's side of the family and it was lovely!! (Christmas Day we celebrate usually with a brunch, with my Mom's side of the family ~ it was also lovely!!)

Two: Dec. 27th my nephew (Baby K) turned three months old.  As prior posts have noted, on Christmas Eve my only sister decided suddenly (because yes, a plan to pick up her new family of three so they could celebrate for at least an hour before going out of town to spend time with the baby's father's side of the family)... ahem. Christmas Eve my sister changed plans and instead of time together for the first time since Thanksgiving, myself, our parents (baby K's grandparents AND godparents) along with everyone else on Baby K's mom's side of the family has not gotten to see or hear from any of them.  With the exception of the heated texts on Christmas Eve (because instead of the three of them, she wanted his whole family to come over and decided to say that at about 9pm -- then took back all visiting possibilities and stated that we would more or less be lucky to see him before, at, or after the new year).  STILL NO BABY K, NO SISTER, NO CONTACT. 

Hurt yet starting to be able to move past it -- with tiny steps at least :  (

Waiting...

Pretty Tree

Trying to not let things get to me.

Waiting... to figure out how to let go of the way my sister lives her life (and therefore how she controls that we have not seen - even in photos - the first grandson/nephew for a third of his life. Technically tomorrow actually, he was born the 27th, not the 26th.  But really, no response on baby's FIRST CHRISTMAS!???)

Waiting... for test results to see if more procedures are to be done or if I am to sit and wait for a few more months then be tested again (and again and again)... At least I am honestly not worried at all about the results.  As far as I know I can only fall into two categories and I can deal with either one -- I just really am disliking this waiting stuff.

Waiting... to return to a positive, faith filled, hopeful person.  I try, yet I know I was at the very least a bit of a drag on Christmas Day this year (which I hated, but again, am waiting to be able to move past things I have no control over).

Waiting... so that I can be a great aunt (I know how to be, just not receiving the opportunity)

Waiting... to have dinner with some family from the other half of my family tree tomorrow night (Also hoping I can at least pretend to be a bit more cheerful than I was on Christmas Day -- I did try and smiled and talked but it just felt like a day of loss and I cannot get out of this funk yet).

Waiting... for a long-time friend (five years) to let me know that the move back to Chicago went alright and to be okay with knowing I cannot visit from CA -- at least not in the near future! Those five years sure did fly by fast...

Waiting... for the new year because hopefully I will have actually moved on and am no longer pretending as I have been the past week

Happy Boxing Day Everyone! (Day After Christmas)

Christmas Decorations Done!

The month of December has been so filled -- difficult to believe but the last time I shared photos of what the Christmas Decorations looked like this year was on the 3rd -- exactly twenty days ago! Now that I shared the link to that post (in case you wanted to see what was going on then). Today, Christmas Adam, I am sharing the last of the decorations -- mostly garlands!

Garland (from kitchen looking into dining room)

Garland (from dining room looking into kitchen)

Holiday mugs and two reindeer on top of the bar in the dining room
(Can you read the black and gold sign on the inside top shelf?
Reads ~ "IT'S FIVE O'CLOCK SOMEWHERE")

Garland (from dining room looking into living room)

Standing in living room looking at decorated garlands
 (living room to dining room to kitchen)

Last but certainly not least -- the completely decorated Christmas Tree!

Christmas Tree 2013 (in the corner of the family room)

Just wanted to add that the garlands do have lights on [at night] ~ Pretty!

I think that is it for Christmas 2013! (Unless gifts are ornaments that is!)

P.S. Guess what?? Apparently my aunt, my mom, and myself are going to have a Christmas Eve Marathon of Downton Abbey!! At least season one, hopefully season two as well (not likely, but we shall try) -- the Marathon will continue through the end of season three because SEASON FOUR OF DOWNTON ABBEY STARTS IN JANUARY 2014!! Huzzah!! ...Yep, got carried away.  GREAT show for anyone who has not seen it... What was I rambling on about?  Oh yes, that at the least the three of us shall continue cramming in the first three seasons before New Year's Day : )

Today I had a surprise holiday trip!

Yes, you read that correctly, I was taken on a surprise day trip to...

Disney's CA Adventure!

 DISNEY TOOK UP MOST OF TODAY!  YAY!  Full post later on, just one tree for now to tide you over:

Disneyland California Resort Lobby Tree

Took a hot shower, am in comfy pj's and just dropped by to say hi and goodnight!

Advent Week Three

Advent Week Three - December 2013

Just like that, another week flashes by.  We are now in the third week of Advent! Perhaps if I loved every month like I do December, (with holiday spirit, decorations, Christmas), every year would fly by...

I am very thankful for my family and friends...

Currently feeling a little too tired

Love, prayers, faith and hope

Sandy Hook, Missing Baby K, and Christmas Decorations

A year ago today I could not find the words to write anything down, so I found an image online and prayed for everyone who was hearing about Sandy Hook (including myself), however particularly for those who were so closely connected with the horror story that resonates with nearly everyone who heard about it.  A week later I posted this and since then have tried to focus on the positive things in life.  On a first anniversary though... prayers, another secret act of kindness, and again trying to focus on Christmas. Faith, love, hope, support, and many prayers go to all who need them - whether they are asked for or not.

Today I am missing my nephew, Baby K. (Which reminds me, I have not yet posted about his baptism! Perhaps this week).  How do I phrase this... Baby K's father and his family have, in my very biased opinion, a type of "hold" over my sister.  This saddens me not only because there are often long periods of time without communication, but at this moment in time I have not heard from her/about her/seen her for twelve days now. (As explained here I think I only got to see him then because he was sick and my sister needed to sleep -- am so thankful they came and I could help for at least half of a day)  Prior to my nephew being born I would usually be successful at different techniques that help me to let go and understand that it is her life.  Now however... I find myself hurt and resentful that my parents and I are not being included...  It is stressful to know that Baby K is loved and wanted yet being kept from me -- literally no communication and to not at least get a photo... I think what I really hate is that my sister pulls away, and that having the only baby (only grandchild -- PLUS my parents are his only godparents! more in the baptism post) ... I allow my sister to hurt me and hurt my feelings by treating me as though I did something wrong.  In this particular instance the "hold" (or "influence"?) that she is under is keeping her parents and her only sister from Baby K.  I know she loves us, and I know we are good influences for her and the baby.  (His father, on the other hand, keeps walking out of court-ordered rehab after he was released from jail, and is not always around to help my sister with their less-than-three-months-old baby boy which FRUSTRATES ME).  Photo below shows how long my hair was last month!  I just had about four inches trimmed off, am considering returning to a chin-length bob or at least getting a shoulder-length cut (not sure yet).

Tia J with Baby K trying on his first Halloween bib!

I need to end my rant because I am simply too hurt by various actions (and lack of actions) to continue.  I do not want to hurt anyone by saying things that I know or sharing too much.  I am thankful that my nephew is being loved, even if he is not in what I personally believe is a great environment, and I know there is a better option, but I am not his mother.  I also know that he is not being physically harmed.  I just love him and my sister so very much that I want to help/do the best I can... Being ignored and cut off just frustrates and hurts my soul... perhaps I should allow it to damage my relationship with my sister but I care too much.  Also I would never want to get in the way of one day being able to help my nephew. Even if I have to hurt and wait, eventually I know his Tia (his aunt) will be needed.  So I shall try to be a quiet doormat, and always remain a loving family member because I cannot change another's decision process (nor influences).

The first photo of Baby K, his mom, and myself (March 4, 2013)

C's first ever ultrasound! (Standing with my sister as she
holds her very first child's photo on March 4, 2013)

Today the tree has all of it's ornaments (including a CUTE gift of ceramic baby shoes with blue decoration that say "Baby's First Christmas" and "2013" while tied together with baby blue ribbon)... also garlands are up and decorated in the archway between the living room/dining room and between the dining room/kitchen.  If you were following me last year this sounds very familiar -- not to worry, same garland tradition for well over a decade!  Helps to spread Christmas cheer around the house and ornaments are not confined to the tree *smiles*

Barely visible writing says "Baby's First Christmas"!

Thankful

Thankful Full Of Gratitude

Today I am so very, very thankful for many things... okay, a small part of me is still selfish and grumpy at the computer/internet/blogger for NOT allowing me to post Thanksgiving photos... Yet I am overwhelmingly blessed and am taking the opportunity to write a brief THANK YOU message.

God, my parents, my sister, family friends, extended family, people who I have not seen or spoken to in ages, those whom I have spoken with in the past few days... I might get into negative "spots" and have trouble seeing all that I have to be thankful for in that moment, but looking at my whole life, the last nine years, the last two days, the last sixty seconds -- I am more blessed than I could ever deserve, and I am very deeply thankful for everything good and bad and in-between that has brought me to this moment in life.

Dear God, I want to take a minute,
Not to ask for anything from you,
But simply to say THANK YOU,
For all I have.

Note: On Thanksgiving Day (28th) we celebrated with most of my mom's side of the family (four of the five sisters with their significant others and many of the "kids" such as myself)... The day after Thanksgiving, TODAY (Nov. 29th) we had a wonderfully [sort of rare] opportunity to celebrate with three of the four siblings on my dad's side of the family (and their significant others and a few "kids") -- hopefully this Christmas season we can celebrate again with both sides of the family tree, so fun!!

 I hope all of you can find at least one single thing/person/thought/etc to be thankful for, today and everyday ::HUGS::

New Pope!

Today the Catholic Church once again has a Pope! The conclave finished voting (see image of white smoke below; white smoke is a confirmation of more than two-thirds majority whereas the previous votes went up in black smoke to indicate that we were still without a spiritual leader here on Earth)

After Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio became Pope (he will never again be addressed as such, only addressed by his new name -- for those who are not aware every new Pope chooses their name and his is significant!).... Here is an image from the first public appearance of Pope Francis I

 (Sorry, am not positive who the two individuals standing behind him are)

Found this online as well and while a fake baseball card is amusing it also is a cute "cheat sheet" of facts about the new Pope! Two of the most important facts are that he is the first Pope from South America and that he is also the first Jesuit (the Jesuit priests are a particular order) Pope! Two wonderful firsts! Have to wait and see how his life as Pope will play out -- however he has an amazingly down-to-earth manner apparently. Some examples repeated often about this former cardinal is that he cooked some of his own meals, chose to live in a small and simple location instead of the lavish/larger options, and HE TOOK PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION REGULARLY TO VISIT "BAD" AREAS OF TOWNS TO HELP HOW AND WHERE HE COULD.  Safe, blessed, what an example of living life simply -- hence "Francis" is the perfect (and first time ever chosen) new name of our Pope.

Prayers, positive hopes, and ::HUGS:: to all

Lessons/Test

in school

we learn the lessons

before we take the test

in life

we take the test

before we learn the lesson

(Life is good and not that great at once -- hoping for more positive)

All I can expect of anyone

Note to Self:
I am doing the best I can with what I have in this moment and that is all I can expect of anyone, including me!

Faith is (MLK)

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase"

Flowers in her hair

This image was on a friends F.B. page a few days back and I saved it for two reasons.  One, I love the silhouette including the flowers in the hair!  Secondly, the quote is something I need to remind myself of on days that are not so good.  "My worth and value is in who I am, not what I do."  (Have been having difficulty with working in recent months and I have been quite hard on myself considering the main reason is my health, particularly health issues that I cannot control any more than I already am.  I really need to remain pleased that I have not had to return to a hospital, that I am attending appointments, and currently able to do things like go run errands or take a short walk or go hang out with a friend. It is wonderful but frustrating that so many people I know are on different, seemingly "better" roads than I am. While I am so very pleased for them, I cannot help thinking that in comparison, I fail. Daily.) So -- a different mindset, a more positive mindset, is needed on almost a daily basis.  I try and thankfully many days I do succeed.  However there are still many days that my mind is not able to be convinced and I am working on a daily battle with myself that I do not always win. I do make sure to put something on this space which in and of itself is starting to concern me because I do not know who reads it, nor who might in the future.  Feeling a bit alone and lonely.  Later tonight there is a brand new episode of "Downton Abbey" to transport me back in time for an hour and I shall have tea, curl up with a blanket, and enjoy it fully!

You're lucky (Sunday)

"Why yes, I am wearing sweats today. I also didn't fix my hair or put on make-up. It's Sunday. You're lucky I'm wearing a bra."

January Cancer Awareness (Cervical)

From Stand Up To Cancer....
January is Cervical Cancer Awareness Month
New Cases: 12,000+
Deaths: 4,000+

Unfortunately SO MANY types of cancer :(
Shall try to at least post the current month update

Prayers and Hope for those lost and those still fighting!