In four days Baby K

In four short days, Baby K will turn four months old! How time flies...

January 15th 2014 -- Baby K can ALMOST sit up on his own!  Shall happen soon!

Hopefully this half of Baby K's family shall see much more of my sister and her son during the next third of his life -- difficult to really grasp that he will have spent a third of a year with us already!  (Not including his time in utero of course!)

ALSO, TOMORROW, my aunt is getting married!! She and her husband-to-be have been together (or at least together-ish) for many MANY years now : )  Very happy for them both!!  She just wants to get the papers so not a large wedding at all, but has said she wants to have a celebration once she moves from Nevada back here to CA and we shall celebrate then!!

From the kitchen: Apple Charlotte

From the Kitchen : Apple Charlotte
(Taken from my 2014 Downton Abbey Desktop Calendar)

"Apple Charlotte is an easy recipe for a busy cook. To make this traditional English cake, line a buttered pie in with pieces of bread and cover with a layer of peeled apple slices, or pureed apple, and sugar. Continue to layer bread and apples until the dish is full. Bake for 45 minutes to an hour at 350 degrees fahrenheit. Turn the cake out onto a plate. Sprinkle with sugar and serve."

Personally I love any type of baked apples/apple pie/apple crisp/etc served with vanilla ice cream ~ Hopefully you try this and you/your guests enjoy it!!

Gift of Flowers

Happy Sunday Everyone!

Gift of pale pink gerber daisies!

Just had to share this photo of some lovely flowers I was given for a "just because" gift.  Am anticipating a fun (but long) evening -- family friends from Mexico are in town and spending the afternoon/evening with us! Also a chance that my sister and her son Baby K shall visit...

Something good to read

"Knowing you have something good to read before bed is among the most pleasurable of sensations"

Off to read some more...

Baby K Tummy Time

Two comparison photos (10 weeks between photos, eep!)...

Baby K Tummy Time with Tia J at 5 weeks old (yes, a blanket supporting him so I could feel comfortable moving away to get a photo)

Baby K Tummy Time with Tia J at 15 weeks old (during brief visit this week, first since Thanksgiving Eve/Thanksgiving Day -- miss him TONS and TONS)

Baby K 7 weeks "missing"

Okay, so technically my nephew Baby K was "missing" from our lives for six weeks and six days -- today, Thursday, is exactly seven weeks since Thanksgiving. He is no longer being kept from us!!! Thank you God for at least giving our family yesterday with my sister and her son Baby K!!!

I know I should only feel thankful and happy that a situation arose yesterday which allowed my sister to grace us with her and her son Baby K's presence since Thanksgiving 2013 (for those who didn't catch her decisions, take a look at my December posts)...

Anyway, we are lucky that my sister and her son Baby K stopped avoiding us and we finally had contact yesterday, Wed. Jan. 15th 2014 from about 2pm to 7pm -- yes, they stayed for dinner; however they did not want to spend the night.  Small steps, yes?  Yes. 

Size Comparison photos of Baby K in his bassinet on one of their last visits (technically last overnight was Nov. 27th to 28th -- his two month "birthday" where we got Thanksgiving and Christmas photos taken; then Thanksgiving Day itself -- we took them back to her boyfriends after celebrations were over)

November 2013

Jan. 15, 2014
First time they came over
since staying the night
before Thanksgiving

Did I mention that Baby K's father has finally re-entered the court ordered rehab he had been avoiding for several months? He went in on Dec. 30th 2013 (mostly because the judge was going to make him serve two years instead of the six months he has not done, if Baby K's father did not re-enter prior to 2014).... 

For whatever reasons my sister had not visited (nor, obviously, could Baby K visit) ANYONE from her entire family tree -- half of Baby K's family tree -- since Thanksgiving Day.  Nothing prior to Christmas Eve, nothing Christmas Eve nor Christmas Day nor for New Year's.... Thankfully they both visited myself (Tia J) and C and my parents -- Baby K's grandparents and godparents.  Also a strong chance they will at least have dinner with us on Sunday night (perhaps spend the night for the first time in two months!) -- because we have family friends from Mexico in town for a few short days for the first visit in years.


PLUS-  My sister allowed us extra time so we could watch her and Baby K open their Christmas presents!! Baby K LOVED his first Nativity set given to him by his grandparents (his abuelos!)

God has a plan, always. I need to wait for HIS time (and be patient, loving, open, understanding, willing.... prayers if you can spare them, I need help)

Fragile

Today

Cousin R's Wedding!

Yes, again I am several months behind, however here is the promised post about my cousin R and her wedding to her now-husband C!  Everyone had quite a lovely day/afternoon/evening!!

Engagement Images/Pre-wedding day --

Photo showing the ring

Gift from Maid of Honor to Bride for her wedding dress
(obviously given prior to the wedding day!!)

From R and C's engagement shoot

Wedding Ceremony (Sunday October 13th 2013) --

R walking down the aisle with her dad
while she (unsuccessfully) tried to not cry

Maid of Honor, R and C, Best Man

Full wedding party (just as the sun starts to set!)

Lovingly teasing one another during personal vows

"You may now kiss the bride"

Official first walk as husband and wife!

Between Wedding Ceremony and Wedding Reception --

R and C with R's immediate family (Left to Right: R's brother,
R's mom and dad, R and C, R's older brother and his wife)

Love this of the newlyweds...

Wedding Reception --

Entering the reception (Guest book, an engagement photo,
old table top piano from engagement shoot with box for
cards on top, watercolor of two sloths - R and C's animal)

Creative photo of R and C first dance!
(Tables were labeled by a wine bottle with the cork
slit to hold a single record. This table was Atlantic.)

Bride and Groom (R and C with their backs to the camera)
with their parents (C's parents on left; R's parents on right)

Wedding Cake! (Toppers are two sloths - "their animal")

Candy table (all guests could make a bag - or two! - while waiting for
the cake to be cut; assortment of sweets, sours, hard, soft candies)

After eating candy --

Let them eat cake!

Always lovely to gather together family for a positive celebration!
Congratulations again R and C! We love you both!

What you really want cannot be bought

During December I found this image/quote online yet did not find the time to post it.  Wanted to share it today because there were literally only three things on my Christmas "list to Santa" this year: vaseline or plain chapstick; a new set of sheets for my bed; to spend more time with people (especially family) whom I love.

I think as you grow older your Christmas list gets smaller
and the things you really want for the holidays can't be bought

Overall I have been blessed and quite lucky to have gotten nearly everything I wanted this past Christmas -- this past year included special events (wedding, baptism, birthdays, etc) with both sides of my family tree as well as various family friends!!  However my sister C and her son ("our" grandson, godson, nephew) Baby K have not slept in their beds here since the night before Thanksgiving.  In a way it is helping remind me that people make their own choices and if I talk about rights -- well, it is not my "right" to see my nephew.  Perhaps this separation is necessary (although only God knows what the future holds/why things occur) and hopefully it will serve as the longest period of time we shall all have to spend cut off ... disconnected ... apart ... Eventually I believe (I hope) we can all appreciate and enjoy spending time together -- life is too short as it is.  Thankfully I am no longer mad, I am more hurt/disappointed.  Better for health, yes? Also with certain "free time" I have forced myself to return to cleaning and sorting/donating which is a bonus

Baby K Baptism

(Personal Note: I am "handling" things slightly better than during December, however my only sibling, my sister C has still chosen to not visit with her only child, her son Baby K - our parents only grandchild and my only nephew.  Several posts last month... They spent two nights/day before Thanksgiving with us - Baby K was exactly two months then two months one day -- and have not had either of them over since because my sister decided late on Christmas Eve that she was 'done' and we could not see her son.

Hopefully -- because we have newlywed long-time family friends visiting from Mexico next week -- C and her son K might put in an appearance... After six and a half LONG weeks of no visits.  Luckily we did get one single text message with a single photo of Baby K this past week!  He looks so very different, obviously, instead of eight weeks he is nearly fifteen weeks!)

Okay, done with rant.  My apologies.

I know I kept promising a baptism post (my nephew) -- and here it is!
(Also coming up this week is the wedding of my cousin R to her husband C)

Baby K was baptized by our long-time family friend, Father Edwin, on Sunday, November 17th 2013 in a small private (Catholic) ceremony -- isn't he ADORABLE in his white suit?? He was asleep as we arrived at church, so waited until the last minute to add his white suit (with tails!)

His mother (my sister C) and her boyfriend B very lovingly took turns holding their son Baby K.

Left to Right: Godfather M; Godmother P; Dad B holding
Baby K while the priest pours holy water over his head;
and Mom C (the camera angle has her slightly blocked
however you can see the purple flowers in her hair)

Our parents (M and P) were Baby K's only godparents (as is tradition in the Catholic Church -- one practicing Catholic of each gender is chosen for each baby -- sometimes only a single godparent is chosen though which is allowed if two are not "wanted"/"available").

Immediate Family: Baby K, his parents (C and B),
God parents (M and P -- are C and my parents so
they are also Baby K grandparents), and myself, J

Photo of FOUR GENERATIONS on BOTH SIDES of Baby K's family!  He is such a lucky little guy!!

Mom C, grandparents, great-grandparents in purple
Dad B, grandparents, great-grandparents in green
(white are Godparents and Father Edwin)

I KNOW there must be photos of the reception after (as mentioned, small, perhaps 25 guests??) however I cannot find a single photo, not even of Baby K's baptism cake! If I find them later I shall share : )

Plant these flowers!

Hello!  In CA (at the very least) there is a declining bee population.  A friend of mine shared this fun list of flowers we can all plant to help the bees!

(Specific Herbs, Perennials, and Annuals that can help save bees)

Lost to Colon Cancer at 32

I learned that a friend who I went to high school (FSHA) with, Gloria Borges, who was diagnosed at age 28 with stage four colon cancer, passed away yesterday morning (Sun Jan 5th) at the age of 32.  Love, prayers, and support particularly go to her husband Will and her parents, Becky and Mike.

2013 Will and Gloria (blue hat) and her parents Becky and Mike

Gloria was such an inspiration, and although she was a year ahead of me at FSHA (class of '00 while I graduated in '01) her life became so amazing after she was diagnosed in 2010!  Please indulge me while I share the LINK TO HER BLOG (WunderGlo) ... to the foundation she created to stop colon cancer THE WUNDERGLO FOUNDATION ... also a very short video she was in which shows just how full of life she was and how much anyone could learn from her/life lessons to take away:

WunderGlo (Gloria talking)
<iframe src="//player.vimeo.com/video/71126797?title=0&amp;byline=0&amp;portrait=0" width="500" height="281" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen></iframe> <p><a href="http://vimeo.com/71126797">Wunderglo</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/agsent">AGS Entertainment, Inc.</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

Life Is Not Always Perfect

"You need to see that life is not always perfect. We will not always get what we want. And though it hurts a lot, what should've happened, happened. Who should've left, left, and whatever's thrown you off course will always bring you to where it is you need to be." (Unknown author; image found online)

With a new year many people, myself included, often take a closer look at what has passed and at what is to come.  I know I tend to blame myself even when things are not my fault -- this quote reminds me that I am not responsible (at least not always!) for where I am in life.  Other people make decisions that can help me or hurt me -- I am the only one who can decide how others/their choices will change (or not change) my life.  This second quote/image was also found online and it is another good reminder:

"Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace." (again, unknown author)... Life should not be a constant string of stressful moments, nor is it to be perfect. The ups and downs of life help remind us that we are to have faith and let go... Am hopeful that this new year I can face both the ups and the downs with more grace than I have previously

Downton Abbey daze/craze

Hello!  Was intending to post about the Rose Parade (or perhaps finally post about my cousin R's wedding - lots of photos!), however, I am in the midst of a Downton Abbey marathon.  Marathon of dvds as well as reading (re-reading) also being sure to AVOID THE INTERNET because Season Four starts on Sunday night and I really want to have ZERO spoilers -- looks like an achievable goal for the premier but I don't know if it will last all season...

As mentioned one of my favorite Christmas gifts was a 2014 daily desktop calendar about Downton Abbey (sometimes photos of the show, or quotes, or behind-the-scenes information/period information)... Received a NYE gift of a book based on the historical figure of Cora Cash -- who in real life became a duchess yet in Downton Abbey is the mother/wife/female head of household/Lady Cora/Countess Cora...

Anyway, am halfway finished with the book at 3am on January 2nd and it is a novel/historical fiction -- enjoying it so much so that I have paused in between episodes of Downton Abbey (all of season one complete; over six episodes of season two complete as of this moment) to begin/continue reading the book.

The American Heiress (in real life, Cora Cash -- taken from real life,
placed into Downton Abbey as the Countess Lady Cora)

Unknown to me, the bookstore (chain store, barns. and.noble) which was only a short drive away was set to close for good on NYE. Luckily I found heard in time and instead of fighting holiday traffic decided to hop online and use my Christmas giftcard on the website instead -- Season Three has been shipped and will hopefully appear SOON -- but if it does not appear by Saturday evening I think I shall record the season four premiere instead of watching it live as currently planned

Tracking currently shows that Downton Abbey s.3 should arrive in time to be re-watched however, so I will have well over twenty hours re-watched between all three seasons!  For those who are not avid watchers, you should know that season one came out in the US in 2011, so it is not unreasonable at all for me to want/have a marathon prior to the fourth season arriving : )

Oh!  I also have a great book that I found just before my 30th birthday called "While. We. Were. Watching. Downton Abbey " -- the three female characters all have their own storylines/are in different modern-day "classes" of society but all recently moved into a new building where once a week the concierge decides to have a Downton Abbey showing (the book follows season one on dvd, then "live" season two weekly episodes)... Wonder if I have a photo of the book --

"While We Were Watching Downton Abbey" I absolutely recommend to anyone -- particularly any females who are interested in reading a book about contemporary women with various life problems who will easily relate to the three female characters whose current life stories happen to make them an unlikely trio of great friends -- due to watching a television series together! Life with heartbreak and love, family and loss, and of course, Downton Abbey thrown in.  One of my favorite new books in the past five years (as a bookworm that is saying alot!!)

Waiting...

Pretty Tree

Trying to not let things get to me.

Waiting... to figure out how to let go of the way my sister lives her life (and therefore how she controls that we have not seen - even in photos - the first grandson/nephew for a third of his life. Technically tomorrow actually, he was born the 27th, not the 26th.  But really, no response on baby's FIRST CHRISTMAS!???)

Waiting... for test results to see if more procedures are to be done or if I am to sit and wait for a few more months then be tested again (and again and again)... At least I am honestly not worried at all about the results.  As far as I know I can only fall into two categories and I can deal with either one -- I just really am disliking this waiting stuff.

Waiting... to return to a positive, faith filled, hopeful person.  I try, yet I know I was at the very least a bit of a drag on Christmas Day this year (which I hated, but again, am waiting to be able to move past things I have no control over).

Waiting... so that I can be a great aunt (I know how to be, just not receiving the opportunity)

Waiting... to have dinner with some family from the other half of my family tree tomorrow night (Also hoping I can at least pretend to be a bit more cheerful than I was on Christmas Day -- I did try and smiled and talked but it just felt like a day of loss and I cannot get out of this funk yet).

Waiting... for a long-time friend (five years) to let me know that the move back to Chicago went alright and to be okay with knowing I cannot visit from CA -- at least not in the near future! Those five years sure did fly by fast...

Waiting... for the new year because hopefully I will have actually moved on and am no longer pretending as I have been the past week

Happy Boxing Day Everyone! (Day After Christmas)

Sandy Hook, Missing Baby K, and Christmas Decorations

A year ago today I could not find the words to write anything down, so I found an image online and prayed for everyone who was hearing about Sandy Hook (including myself), however particularly for those who were so closely connected with the horror story that resonates with nearly everyone who heard about it.  A week later I posted this and since then have tried to focus on the positive things in life.  On a first anniversary though... prayers, another secret act of kindness, and again trying to focus on Christmas. Faith, love, hope, support, and many prayers go to all who need them - whether they are asked for or not.

Today I am missing my nephew, Baby K. (Which reminds me, I have not yet posted about his baptism! Perhaps this week).  How do I phrase this... Baby K's father and his family have, in my very biased opinion, a type of "hold" over my sister.  This saddens me not only because there are often long periods of time without communication, but at this moment in time I have not heard from her/about her/seen her for twelve days now. (As explained here I think I only got to see him then because he was sick and my sister needed to sleep -- am so thankful they came and I could help for at least half of a day)  Prior to my nephew being born I would usually be successful at different techniques that help me to let go and understand that it is her life.  Now however... I find myself hurt and resentful that my parents and I are not being included...  It is stressful to know that Baby K is loved and wanted yet being kept from me -- literally no communication and to not at least get a photo... I think what I really hate is that my sister pulls away, and that having the only baby (only grandchild -- PLUS my parents are his only godparents! more in the baptism post) ... I allow my sister to hurt me and hurt my feelings by treating me as though I did something wrong.  In this particular instance the "hold" (or "influence"?) that she is under is keeping her parents and her only sister from Baby K.  I know she loves us, and I know we are good influences for her and the baby.  (His father, on the other hand, keeps walking out of court-ordered rehab after he was released from jail, and is not always around to help my sister with their less-than-three-months-old baby boy which FRUSTRATES ME).  Photo below shows how long my hair was last month!  I just had about four inches trimmed off, am considering returning to a chin-length bob or at least getting a shoulder-length cut (not sure yet).

Tia J with Baby K trying on his first Halloween bib!

I need to end my rant because I am simply too hurt by various actions (and lack of actions) to continue.  I do not want to hurt anyone by saying things that I know or sharing too much.  I am thankful that my nephew is being loved, even if he is not in what I personally believe is a great environment, and I know there is a better option, but I am not his mother.  I also know that he is not being physically harmed.  I just love him and my sister so very much that I want to help/do the best I can... Being ignored and cut off just frustrates and hurts my soul... perhaps I should allow it to damage my relationship with my sister but I care too much.  Also I would never want to get in the way of one day being able to help my nephew. Even if I have to hurt and wait, eventually I know his Tia (his aunt) will be needed.  So I shall try to be a quiet doormat, and always remain a loving family member because I cannot change another's decision process (nor influences).

The first photo of Baby K, his mom, and myself (March 4, 2013)

C's first ever ultrasound! (Standing with my sister as she
holds her very first child's photo on March 4, 2013)

Today the tree has all of it's ornaments (including a CUTE gift of ceramic baby shoes with blue decoration that say "Baby's First Christmas" and "2013" while tied together with baby blue ribbon)... also garlands are up and decorated in the archway between the living room/dining room and between the dining room/kitchen.  If you were following me last year this sounds very familiar -- not to worry, same garland tradition for well over a decade!  Helps to spread Christmas cheer around the house and ornaments are not confined to the tree *smiles*

Barely visible writing says "Baby's First Christmas"!

Pope Francis I, Our Lady of Guadalupe, a new death, remembering a death

So yesterday I (obviously!) posted a very, very, VERY long rant/ramblings/spewing thoughts -- it was something that I was a bit scared to actually hit the "publish" button because I realize that this can be read by anyone in the entire world at any time.  However it really is beneficial for me to just let everything out sometimes, and it was the right choice because I FINALLY slept for just over eight hours last night and have been rested and relaxed all day!

Alright, four topics in the title to cover: day before yesterday a close relative passed away, but she had been ill for what felt like a long time and she was ready to move on.  God gave her a bit of extra time and so more family were able to visit which was a blessing...

Yesterday, December 12th was a Feast Day for several people I know/knew -- it was also the official Catholic Feast Day for Our Lady of Guadalupe. There are many images, many websites, many different ways to find her if you search -- but you are here so I want to send you to two links, if you have the time. First, from the Vatican Radio Pope Francis sent a message to the Americas. (If you do a quick g.oo.gle search you can watch the video of the Holy Father speaking -- but this site has it translated into English and typed out so it is likely to be more convenient for most). Second, a new find for me (yes, I am apparently MUCH more lazy than I think) - from catholicculture.org they have daily readings, activities, etc and the link to the story of Our Lady of Guadalupe is wonderful (also short and to the point in case you are not very faithful). The image below I have lovingly borrowed from them, so you are already familiar with an aspect of the page...

Three sentences taken from their page which summarize her story: "She appeared to an Indian convert named Juan Diego on December 9, 1531. She left a marvelous portrait of herself on the mantle of Juan Diego. This miraculous image has proved to be ageless, and is kept in the shrine built in her honor, the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe."

Time Magazine picked their person of the year and I am thrilled to share that it is Pope Francis I -- (you can read my post when he was chosen to become the new Pope if you would like)!  He has done so much for Catholics but also importantly he reminds me of Jesus, really reaching out to all people, everywhere.  He is a role model I can only aspire to reach a level of his authenticity.

Also, finally, today, December 13th... It has been eighteen years since we lost "Aba" and she too was blessed to join God and leave her earthly struggles behind.  I posted about losing my grandpa exactly eighteen years ago earlier this year... This time I remember the day, the exact hour, the exact minute when Aba took her last breath at home, surrounded by so many of us.

That is all for today -- between yesterday and today I have shared so much. If you did not read yesterday's post please try to get through some of it and leave me your opinion/views/similar stories/something.  I feel quite worn out today.  Mostly in a good way, but a bit wary that I blurted out so much.