Prayers... Taylor, Michael, Abigail, Gloria WunderGlo, and more

Gerber Daisies -- yellow to represent a certain family but these
are also the unofficial flower of our high school (FSHA - Flintridge
Sacred Heart Academy)... Sure to be at Gloria's life celebrations which
start tonight (she was one year ahead of me in high school) - more in this post

 January 10th (2014)

Initially lit a couple years back for angel Taylor. For me this
image reminds me not only of her - also of two of her angel siblings
(Michael and Abigail) -- also many others who gained their wings too early.
Always in my thoughts and prayers -- the angels and their families.

Already posted this week, however Gloria "WunderGlo" diagnosed with stage four colon cancer at age 28.  She fought long and hard yet finally passed away Sunday after getting to celebrate her 32nd birthday, last Christmas, and last New Years on earth. Viewing and rosary tonight with a full day of celebrations tomorrow (info located here). If you are a Face.Book individual you can also simply type in Gloria Borges

Friday, Jan 10th 6pm-9pm
Viewing and Rosary at St. Robert Bellarmine Catholic Church
133 N 5th St, Burbank, CA 91504

(Saturday, Jan 11th
10:15am-12:30pm/Memorial Tribute at Walt Disney Concert Hall/111 S Grand Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90012
12:30-1:30pm/Light Reception in the Blue Ribbon Garden
2:00pm/Funeral Mass at The Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels/ 555 W. Temple St, Los Angeles, CA 90012
3:15pm/Procession to Interment Ceremony at Forest Lawn Memorial Park/6300 Forest Lawn Dr, Los Angeles, CA 90068

Open House Celebration Party immediately following at WunderGlo’s house
3260 Bennett Dr, Los Angeles, CA 90068)

 January 10th (2014) ... Has become another day to stop and remember many, and as the image below reminds me, [we] must pray hardest when it is hardest to pray.  Love, prayers, support, and ::HUGS:: to so many, named and un-named, as well as their families and loved ones

Candlelight Christmas (book)

Candlelight Christmas by Susan Wiggs

Christmas 2013 has come and gone - and I have forgotten to share a new holiday book I found!  "Candlelight Christmas" (by Susan Wiggs) is a book I found perhaps around Thanksgiving (of this past year). It is a "fluff" book, but I found it/find it a light, cozy, Christmas read. Basic plot is focused on a divorced dad who usually gets to see his only son every summer and (focus of this book) at Christmas.  The dad's family and his work have a place in this novel, as does just a touch of summer camp, a dash of Thanksgiving -- and the focus, CHRISTMAS!

I tagged "Tie Blanket" in the various labels for this post because I do not think I have ever shared this particular blanket here (before now).  I was taught a while back how to make tie blankets, and at first I was not really thrilled with this particular pattern of circles -- over a year later it has become one of my absolute favorite blankets!  I find myself throwing it over my shoulders instead of a sweater, or throwing it on my lap while watching tv, or curling up under it while reading into the wee small hours of the morning : )  I have actually used this pattern twice now, once paired with a solid darker green background (which is the one I still own) and the other with a darker grey (which became a gift a while back).

Considering making baby tie blankets and selling them (instead of giving baby-sized or tv-sized blankets) as gifts.  Most family and friends (and more!) have tie blankets made by either myself or another family member, and while everyone loves them (seriously, no complaints in nearly a decade -- and I see them used often in others houses, they are not closed away) -- it is an idea.  Not really sure if (or even how!) I would be able to make a large enough selection, where to find people to buy them, etc etc... yet perhaps it is something I shall try this new year. Love to all!

P.S. Downton Abbey Season Four premiers in the US TONIGHT from 9pm to 11pm!! Thank you PBS and everyone who supports public broadcasting stations -- therefore making lovely period shows like Downton Abbey possible

Life Is Not Always Perfect

"You need to see that life is not always perfect. We will not always get what we want. And though it hurts a lot, what should've happened, happened. Who should've left, left, and whatever's thrown you off course will always bring you to where it is you need to be." (Unknown author; image found online)

With a new year many people, myself included, often take a closer look at what has passed and at what is to come.  I know I tend to blame myself even when things are not my fault -- this quote reminds me that I am not responsible (at least not always!) for where I am in life.  Other people make decisions that can help me or hurt me -- I am the only one who can decide how others/their choices will change (or not change) my life.  This second quote/image was also found online and it is another good reminder:

"Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace." (again, unknown author)... Life should not be a constant string of stressful moments, nor is it to be perfect. The ups and downs of life help remind us that we are to have faith and let go... Am hopeful that this new year I can face both the ups and the downs with more grace than I have previously

One step at a time

"one step at a time"

"I will trust God even in the silence"

"Always smile back at little children.
To ignore them is to destroy their belief
that the world is good"

Hello -- just taking it easy so here are a few images with quotes that I like (and that I may or may not have posted onto this blog already!)

In all thy ways...

In all thy ways acknowledge him
and he shall direct thy paths"

"When I am afraid I put my trust in you"

Having a colposcopy done today -- trying (as always before anything medical nowadays) to remain in a good mindset and know that everything happens for a reason.  Even if I do not know what it is nor why I am involved.  Any extra prayers/positive thoughts will be greatly appreciated!

Being pregnant and getting married

*If the title did not warn you, this ramble/rant/post is going to contain information regarding pregnancy and marriage so if either are on your list to currently avoid, or if your life journey makes either topic difficult for you -- PLEASE skip this and know I am not offended in any way, I respect whatever your blog decisions are and I do have other, less sensitive posts*


So.  Yes.  Where to start.  I think I have mentioned a couple of times that I had a rant coming, a rambling post, a couple of things I wanted to share with the hopes that writing out the words will keep them from sitting like a pot on the back burner of the stove that is part of my brain, continuously thinking even when I actively attempt to pursue another endevor.

To clarify the title: no, I am not pregnant, and no, I am not getting married. (Not dating even - although there are two guys who have been on my mind recently). However, there are multiple cousins on both sides of my family (on one side there are eight cousins, on the other side there are nine cousins) who have gotten married or who have a child between 0 and 4 years.  Also a few have bought their own homes.

Now this does not sound remarkable, and is quite normal in many, many aspects.  However two things happened in the last ten days.  One: I re-found the only existing photo that has every single cousin in it on my Dad's side of the family. (It was taken at his father, my grandfather's, funeral.  As the oldest I was three days past my twelfth birthday, and the youngest cousin was a mere 15 days old). Two: a cousin from my mom's side of the family (who has a three-year-old) confidently and casually posted on F.B. that she is seven weeks pregnant with her second child -- and she thinks it is a girl.

*breathe in, breath out, breathe in, breathe out*

I can only write about this here because many of you who drop by KNOW, as I think only the wife of one of my cousins (well, he knows obviously), that getting a positive pregnancy test does not always end in a happily ever after baby. One of my family members happened to wander in the room and asked what I was looking at, I told them about the pregnancy announcement.  Then, apparently, I made a mistake.

With the photo from the funeral still fresh in my mind (which I mentioned), I started going through ALL of my cousins and realized that on one side of the family (out of eight of us) there are only three who are not married and/or have a child.  Myself (30 years), a ten-year-old, and a four-year-old.  On the other side of the family (out of nine cousins) there are only s;kalsjkdf who are not married and/or have a child. Myself (30) and three others (and two of those three are in long-term relationships).

The family member who I told this to looked at me with a combination of looks/sounds in their voice but the ones that were most obvious were incredulity, pity, confusion, and disbelief.  "Is that REALLY what you see/think? About who is married and/or has a child?"

I almost cried.  No, I waited until I was settled for the night, then I did sit and cry, drank a mug of tea, then went to bed.

They did not mean to make me feel badly.  They simply believed that I was absolutely over-reacting.  Part of me wonders if I really am, but part of me knows that I am not over-reacting because the half of the family that I spend most of the time with is the side where all the cousins (aside from myself) have at least one child and/or are married -- or are 10 and 4.  Three great-grandchildren on that side of the family, so aside from me (30 years) the only other non-married non-children are literally ages 10, 4, 4, 3, and just under three months old.  So YES, I see the world differently

Also for those of you who I have not shared with -- I developed a health issue during college that has something like a 99.8 percent chance of sticking with me until I die.  I am very blessed and lucky in so many ways because I currently have it under control and take medications twice a day, every day, for the past nine and a half years and shall continue to take medication to keep it under control (hopefully) for the next few decades of my life.  That was not the case when it first developed, I think back most days and I believe I have three years of fuzzy/missing memories.  Except, of course, things like having electrodes glued to my scalp for overnight testing -- and therefore experiencing a lopsided turban of white gauze balancing precariously on my head... visits from family and friends that I only know happened because there was a box of See's Candy left for me or a card with a handwritten note...

Wow.  This sounds like a sad tale.  It is not really.  I am absolutely happy that my family/extended family has been so blessed.  I love that I am now not only a godmother (which is a huge blessing) but also an aunt (which is another huge blessing).  I am loved and cherished by two of the very best parents in the world, as well as having grandparents, other relatives, friends, family friends, church friends, etc who would pretty much do anything if I asked them for their help.

Sometimes though, when someone asks me if I really see the world a certain way, I guess I stop and wonder if somehow I do take things too far.  I know I think all the time, but I did not realize I would feel hurt, when asked, almost as though salt was being rubbed into an open wound that I did not know existed.

Yep.  LONG LONG LONG rant/ramblings.

For the record I do not obsessively go over things I have just typed out -- I really do try to live as full a life as I can every day and I love the holidays particularly because it provides me with more opportunities to hang out with family and friends who might otherwise not have enough time... the month of December, I have found, is the month that most people are willing to step out of their normal routine and spend a little extra time doing pointless nothings -- which are all the more important because of extra time spent together.  Somehow there is never enough time in life, no matter how short or how long that life is

Stop. Smile. Breathe. Life is Beautiful.

"Stop. Smile. Breathe. Life is Beautiful."

Nashville

I know I am late posting today... Have been trying to get back to doing a post a day again, which is good for me... Unfortunately my mind has so many things going on and I cannot get it to turn off... I have a long rambling rant of a post (relates to pregnancy/marriage/casual FB posts) - as well as many photos from my one (unexpected and therefore extra special) trip to France a couple years back.

Since I cannot settle I am sharing a You.Tube clip of sisters (both in real life and on the show) from the tv show Nashville.  Their mom is a famous country singer (I LOVE country music and Christmas music!!!) and one night she lets her daughters do sound check.  The sisters sing (and play) the song "Ho Hey" by the Lumineers... Technically I think the phrase to use is "the sisters covered the song 'Ho Hey' by the Lumineers" -- anyway, here it is (hopefully -- if it does not show up perhaps you can at least see the link?)



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceYtOlmImNE

P.S. Other favorite tv shows at the moment include BONES, Revenge, Covert Affairs, Scandal, and re-runs of Friends.  You know, just in case you had the urgent need to know what I am recording recently. Okay, going before THIS turns into more rambling! Happy December!

Remembering Pearl Harbor

Every December 7th, whether or not I write about it, I know my family and I include Pearl Harbor as a day similar to Memorial Day and Veteran's Day -- we stop and think, pray, thank, wonder, etc, etc about everyone who did serve, is serving, and will serve our country. To protect us, to protect our freedom, to protect our way of life.  Although some things have changed since December 7th, 1941 "A day which will live in infamy" as FDR said.... Nothing really changes. At least that is how I feel many days.  We fight, individual and global battles, and somehow there is never that "happy ending" that I grew to love

Online photo of USS Shaw being hit in Pearl Harbor Attack on December 7 1941

Many are given the chances, the choices, the opportunities to do something however, and to make a difference, take even a small step towards good and away from evil is a victory.  I know I ramble, and am not sure if I get my true feeling across, but I try to see things from various sides/angles... I know that I am very blessed and thankful to not have had to live through a world war.  I hope and pray that we never see such tragedy again - yet I know I am not in control of anyone's future.

A man at the Pearl Harbor Memorial in Hawaii

As I mentioned last year on here, I was fortunate enough to go with my family once to the memorial at Pearl Harbor.  Traveling not just to the land memorial, but stepping onto the memorial on the water, seeing the names go on and on -- and knowing there were so many stories I would never know -- it was overwhelming. I am thankful for so many experiences and for what I have... May God bless and love all of us, giving us the strength and happiness in whatever way He sees fit.

God answers prayers with a: yes/not yet/no/I have something else in mind for you

[In case you cannot read the image directly above it states "God answers prayers with a "yes"/"not yet"/"no"/"I have something else in mind for you" ... Personally I believe we can all relate to these answers, particularly the three that are not a "yes" -- frustrating/maddening at times, but God has a plan]

Today - maybe we can all be a bit thankful today for the blessings we have

Patience is a virtue

Patience is a virtue that I am lacking today, particularly with two members of my family.  Calming thoughts and prayers please?  Just difficult after a day when I am so tired/worn out.  Thanks!

Scrabble Tiles - PATIENCE

P.S. Sorry, still no kitchen renovation post. Manana?

Catching up

Hello blog world ::HUGS:: Playing catch up with about eight months since I went *poof* from here...

First, my apologies.  I do not have any reasons that are "good enough" for not posting.  I have, however, been following as many of your blogs as often as I could have. Also there have been several major health issues in my immediate family but shall stick to the top three: both of my grandparents, and my only sibling, my younger (well, 26 to my 30 years) sister.

My grandfather had a major heart attack, was in the hospital for a while, then moved to home hospice care (couple smaller heart attacks at home) -- and now is recovering very well!! So thankful, and hospice care has been stopped because he has improved so much!  Able to go ahead and re-schedule his skin cancer removal surgery (on his cheek, under his eye) -- he now only has a tiny bandage instead of half his face covered in gauze!



While my grandfather was ill, my grandmother somehow hurt her back but did not want to "take attention away from my husband" -- well intentioned of her yet she now has a compressed vertebrae which will take at least three months to recover from.  Luckily my relatives have been able to purchase a zero-gravity chair for her which she is able to sleep in.  Apparently she had not slept in her bed for a while and simply declined to tell anyone until asked point blank.  (Really though, how am I to guess the exact questions?  Multiple family members play this "game" and I dislike having to guess to get answers!)  She too is healing which is lovely!

My younger sister found out that she was expecting, and I know she does not understand how blessed she was (and is!!!) with her pregnancy and new son. I prayed and have bent over backwards getting her doctors appointments (luckily with our parents help) and... just so thankful and grateful she only had one tiny bump in the road during the unexpected pregnancy.

(C going on nine months)

(Baby K at only ten minutes old!)

She and the boyfriend (fiance now) were both using substances they should not have - which only increased my anxiety - but both of them (and his family) seemed to only be familiar with the "pregnant equals healthy baby" story and I could not bear to share the stories I know nor connect her with people who have been/are going through so many struggles to get something so very very precious.  Between my own worries and my concern for others online I have waited until now to be able to say that she has a healthy baby boy who was just baptized last weekend!



Lots to talk about, however there are days to come...Love the holiday season so with Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years all coming up hopefully I will post more (my godson and his family visiting, baby K getting baptized, etc, etc) Happy Fall everyone!!

18 years ago today

Eighteen years ago the house phone rang before the sun was up - our grandpa R. had passed away. (His wife, grandma J. had passed away several years prior). May they be remembered and may I try to be a better person because of lessons I have learned. God grant them peace - Amen.

[I have realized that I recall the events of March 22nd, 1995 more clearly than the day of his actual funeral... Am so very blessed to have people in my life who love and care about me... Thank you...]

The function of music

"The function of music is to release us 

from the tyranny of conscious thought."

Lessons/Test

in school

we learn the lessons

before we take the test

in life

we take the test

before we learn the lesson

(Life is good and not that great at once -- hoping for more positive)

When you say YES

"When you say YES to others, make sure you are not saying NO to yourself"


(BOTHERSOME COMPUTER!  POSTED PRIOR TO MIDNIGHT BUT WAS NOT LOADED PROPERLY SO TECHNICALLY MONDAY BLOG POST IS NOT HERE....RAR!!!!)

Not all...

"Not all scars show, not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can't always see the pain someone feels."

10 reasons introverts and books

 

Love reading!!

Miss many people and am praying for many

::HUGS::

You are my sunshine

PRAYERS NEEDED PLEASE (THANK YOU)


"You are my sunshine,

my only sunshine,

you make me happy,

when skies are grey."

Waiting

Waiting, do not know, some are sick, some are healthy... I am currently in-between

Just thinking

Just thinking today - also drinking lots of water

The Gambler by Kenny Rogers

(You.Tube.Video of "The Gambler" -- Kenny Rogers)

The Gambler (lyrics)
On a warm summer's evenin' on a train bound for nowhere,
I met up with the gambler; we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a starin' out the window at the darkness
'Til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.

He said, "Son, I've made my life out of readin' people's faces,
And knowin' what their cards were by the way they held their eyes.
So if you don't mind my sayin', I can see you're out of aces.
For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice."

So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light.
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.
Said, "If you're gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

Now Ev'ry gambler knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
'Cause ev'ry hand's a winner and ev'ry hand's a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep."

So when he'd finished speakin', he turned back towards the window,
Crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep.
And somewhere in the darkness the gambler, he broke even.
But in his final words I found an ace that I could keep.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.