Thursday, December 26, 2013


Pretty Tree
Trying to not let things get to me.

Waiting... to figure out how to let go of the way my sister lives her life (and therefore how she controls that we have not seen - even in photos - the first grandson/nephew for a third of his life. Technically tomorrow actually, he was born the 27th, not the 26th.  But really, no response on baby's FIRST CHRISTMAS!???)

Waiting... for test results to see if more procedures are to be done or if I am to sit and wait for a few more months then be tested again (and again and again)... At least I am honestly not worried at all about the results.  As far as I know I can only fall into two categories and I can deal with either one -- I just really am disliking this waiting stuff.

Waiting... to return to a positive, faith filled, hopeful person.  I try, yet I know I was at the very least a bit of a drag on Christmas Day this year (which I hated, but again, am waiting to be able to move past things I have no control over).

Waiting... so that I can be a great aunt (I know how to be, just not receiving the opportunity)

Waiting... to have dinner with some family from the other half of my family tree tomorrow night (Also hoping I can at least pretend to be a bit more cheerful than I was on Christmas Day -- I did try and smiled and talked but it just felt like a day of loss and I cannot get out of this funk yet).

Waiting... for a long-time friend (five years) to let me know that the move back to Chicago went alright and to be okay with knowing I cannot visit from CA -- at least not in the near future! Those five years sure did fly by fast...

Waiting... for the new year because hopefully I will have actually moved on and am no longer pretending as I have been the past week

Happy Boxing Day Everyone! (Day After Christmas)

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