Visit from Mexico

As I mentioned this past Sunday, we were planning to have dinner with family [friends] who are visiting the U.S. from Mexico for a very short visit (only one week!  Usually they stay in CA for a week but spend at least a second week traveling elsewhere in the U.S.)

Not only did the family visit (and we had a wonderful dinner!) but my sister also came over with her son Baby K!!  Overall a very happy Sunday!! While I forgot - of course - to actually take photos once dinner started, I did take two or three photos of the set up as well as Baby K... Oh, and as usual, I was asked again (in person instead of email this time) to go and visit Mexico.

Baby K "talking" with his abuelo (grandpa)!!

Prior to dinner (snacking)

Table set for dinner!

Keeping food warm (they got stuck in traffic
in Hollywood! Luckily all food was enjoyed)

Several large roadblocks on my end about going to visit Mexico (although I know they would take GREAT care of me, have gone several times in the past with family) -- firstly, I do not practice my Spanish often AT ALL so I feel inadequate when I do visit and everyone is beyond fluent and speaks quickly; secondly I feel guilty about having others pay for me to go somewhere that I am afraid of the potential violence (not from the family, but the news I keep reading about the drugs and negativity in Mexico in general!!); thirdly, concern for my health... All keeps me saying "not right now, but thank you very much for the offer to visit!!" ... Part of me knows that my reasons are silly.  A larger part of me wants to regress to a child and run to hide under a blanket until life is "safe" again.  Anyway, enough.  Two last photos from Sunday -- also they should be coming by at least for a quick goodbye, if not for dinner tomorrow (Thursday) night!!  So we will get to see them twice instead of just once which is great!!

Tia J walking Baby K to sleep

Baby K asleep
(January 19, 2014)

Shall try to get family photo tomorrow ::HUGS::

Baby K 7 weeks "missing"

Okay, so technically my nephew Baby K was "missing" from our lives for six weeks and six days -- today, Thursday, is exactly seven weeks since Thanksgiving. He is no longer being kept from us!!! Thank you God for at least giving our family yesterday with my sister and her son Baby K!!!

I know I should only feel thankful and happy that a situation arose yesterday which allowed my sister to grace us with her and her son Baby K's presence since Thanksgiving 2013 (for those who didn't catch her decisions, take a look at my December posts)...

Anyway, we are lucky that my sister and her son Baby K stopped avoiding us and we finally had contact yesterday, Wed. Jan. 15th 2014 from about 2pm to 7pm -- yes, they stayed for dinner; however they did not want to spend the night.  Small steps, yes?  Yes. 

Size Comparison photos of Baby K in his bassinet on one of their last visits (technically last overnight was Nov. 27th to 28th -- his two month "birthday" where we got Thanksgiving and Christmas photos taken; then Thanksgiving Day itself -- we took them back to her boyfriends after celebrations were over)

November 2013

Jan. 15, 2014
First time they came over
since staying the night
before Thanksgiving

Did I mention that Baby K's father has finally re-entered the court ordered rehab he had been avoiding for several months? He went in on Dec. 30th 2013 (mostly because the judge was going to make him serve two years instead of the six months he has not done, if Baby K's father did not re-enter prior to 2014).... 

For whatever reasons my sister had not visited (nor, obviously, could Baby K visit) ANYONE from her entire family tree -- half of Baby K's family tree -- since Thanksgiving Day.  Nothing prior to Christmas Eve, nothing Christmas Eve nor Christmas Day nor for New Year's.... Thankfully they both visited myself (Tia J) and C and my parents -- Baby K's grandparents and godparents.  Also a strong chance they will at least have dinner with us on Sunday night (perhaps spend the night for the first time in two months!) -- because we have family friends from Mexico in town for a few short days for the first visit in years.


PLUS-  My sister allowed us extra time so we could watch her and Baby K open their Christmas presents!! Baby K LOVED his first Nativity set given to him by his grandparents (his abuelos!)

God has a plan, always. I need to wait for HIS time (and be patient, loving, open, understanding, willing.... prayers if you can spare them, I need help)

Baby K Baptism

(Personal Note: I am "handling" things slightly better than during December, however my only sibling, my sister C has still chosen to not visit with her only child, her son Baby K - our parents only grandchild and my only nephew.  Several posts last month... They spent two nights/day before Thanksgiving with us - Baby K was exactly two months then two months one day -- and have not had either of them over since because my sister decided late on Christmas Eve that she was 'done' and we could not see her son.

Hopefully -- because we have newlywed long-time family friends visiting from Mexico next week -- C and her son K might put in an appearance... After six and a half LONG weeks of no visits.  Luckily we did get one single text message with a single photo of Baby K this past week!  He looks so very different, obviously, instead of eight weeks he is nearly fifteen weeks!)

Okay, done with rant.  My apologies.

I know I kept promising a baptism post (my nephew) -- and here it is!
(Also coming up this week is the wedding of my cousin R to her husband C)

Baby K was baptized by our long-time family friend, Father Edwin, on Sunday, November 17th 2013 in a small private (Catholic) ceremony -- isn't he ADORABLE in his white suit?? He was asleep as we arrived at church, so waited until the last minute to add his white suit (with tails!)

His mother (my sister C) and her boyfriend B very lovingly took turns holding their son Baby K.

Left to Right: Godfather M; Godmother P; Dad B holding
Baby K while the priest pours holy water over his head;
and Mom C (the camera angle has her slightly blocked
however you can see the purple flowers in her hair)

Our parents (M and P) were Baby K's only godparents (as is tradition in the Catholic Church -- one practicing Catholic of each gender is chosen for each baby -- sometimes only a single godparent is chosen though which is allowed if two are not "wanted"/"available").

Immediate Family: Baby K, his parents (C and B),
God parents (M and P -- are C and my parents so
they are also Baby K grandparents), and myself, J

Photo of FOUR GENERATIONS on BOTH SIDES of Baby K's family!  He is such a lucky little guy!!

Mom C, grandparents, great-grandparents in purple
Dad B, grandparents, great-grandparents in green
(white are Godparents and Father Edwin)

I KNOW there must be photos of the reception after (as mentioned, small, perhaps 25 guests??) however I cannot find a single photo, not even of Baby K's baptism cake! If I find them later I shall share : )

Flowers for a birthday

A gift of assorted goodies topped by adorable tiny purple flowers for another December birthday! Happy Birthday to a family member of mine!  (Also yes - I reused a Christmas gift bag.  New gifts that were wanted and appreciated though so yay!)

Oh, I have been wanting a good roast beef dip (on a good french roll of course) so I went to The Hat yesterday and picked up a late dinner for myself - yum!  Difficult to believe tomorrow is already New Year's Eve!  "Another summer's day has come and gone away; In even Paris and Rome, and I want to go home; Let me go home" (Michael Buble) ... Lots of holiday songs in my head, particularly "Silver Bells"!!  If I am not concentrating on something (or don't have background noise on) that has been my mind's "go to" song this entire month : )

Planning on staying in for New Year's Eve and instead of going out to the Rose Parade (although we have had GREAT weather this Christmas week - low to mid 70s!) I think I shall watch the last minute prep and the parade itself on television.  Also the ball drop in Time's Square (in case that was not a given). Looking forward to what everyone is up to and hoping to catch a few more people before this year comes to an end... also, of course, go to at least one more bookstore and make another trip to the library!

P.S. No news from my sister (so none of my nephew, over a month now) and also only have one day left until two of two weeks waiting for test results to return... They would not hold colposcopy results over New Year's - would they?  *sighs*  I need to learn patience and how to just relax/let it go

Optimist (def.)

"OPTIMIST: Someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward
is not a disaster, it's more like a Cha-Cha"

"OPTIMIST: Someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's more like a Cha-Cha" 

(Please send some prayers/positive vibes if you have any to spare ~ Thank You ... no colposcopy results still as well as nothing from my sister and nephew)

December 28th

Example of a Completed Christmas Day Advent Wreath
(purple.purple.pink.purple.white) ~ the single white
candle in the center is added on Christmas Eve and
lit at midnight/on Christmas Day to celebrate
the birth of Jesus

So today's image is an example of a completed Advent Wreath (lit on Christmas Day ~ the single white candle in the center is usually added on Christmas eve and is lit at midnight/on Christmas Day to celebrate the birth of Jesus)

Today I am also remembering YESTERDAY, December 27th, 2013

One: We had dinner with some of my Dad's side of the family and it was lovely!! (Christmas Day we celebrate usually with a brunch, with my Mom's side of the family ~ it was also lovely!!)

Two: Dec. 27th my nephew (Baby K) turned three months old.  As prior posts have noted, on Christmas Eve my only sister decided suddenly (because yes, a plan to pick up her new family of three so they could celebrate for at least an hour before going out of town to spend time with the baby's father's side of the family)... ahem. Christmas Eve my sister changed plans and instead of time together for the first time since Thanksgiving, myself, our parents (baby K's grandparents AND godparents) along with everyone else on Baby K's mom's side of the family has not gotten to see or hear from any of them.  With the exception of the heated texts on Christmas Eve (because instead of the three of them, she wanted his whole family to come over and decided to say that at about 9pm -- then took back all visiting possibilities and stated that we would more or less be lucky to see him before, at, or after the new year).  STILL NO BABY K, NO SISTER, NO CONTACT. 

Hurt yet starting to be able to move past it -- with tiny steps at least :  (

Waiting...

Pretty Tree

Trying to not let things get to me.

Waiting... to figure out how to let go of the way my sister lives her life (and therefore how she controls that we have not seen - even in photos - the first grandson/nephew for a third of his life. Technically tomorrow actually, he was born the 27th, not the 26th.  But really, no response on baby's FIRST CHRISTMAS!???)

Waiting... for test results to see if more procedures are to be done or if I am to sit and wait for a few more months then be tested again (and again and again)... At least I am honestly not worried at all about the results.  As far as I know I can only fall into two categories and I can deal with either one -- I just really am disliking this waiting stuff.

Waiting... to return to a positive, faith filled, hopeful person.  I try, yet I know I was at the very least a bit of a drag on Christmas Day this year (which I hated, but again, am waiting to be able to move past things I have no control over).

Waiting... so that I can be a great aunt (I know how to be, just not receiving the opportunity)

Waiting... to have dinner with some family from the other half of my family tree tomorrow night (Also hoping I can at least pretend to be a bit more cheerful than I was on Christmas Day -- I did try and smiled and talked but it just felt like a day of loss and I cannot get out of this funk yet).

Waiting... for a long-time friend (five years) to let me know that the move back to Chicago went alright and to be okay with knowing I cannot visit from CA -- at least not in the near future! Those five years sure did fly by fast...

Waiting... for the new year because hopefully I will have actually moved on and am no longer pretending as I have been the past week

Happy Boxing Day Everyone! (Day After Christmas)

Disappointing/Hurtful Christmas Eve

Yesterday I was happy, excited, and had what I thought were realistic expectations. Today, a couple (or more) episodes of Downton Abbey with my mom and aunt.  My mom and I were both sorry that my aunt changed her mind about coming by but we understand she is busy.

The Disappointing/Hurtful Christmas Eve comes from -- wait for it -- my sister.  She got into a large and hurtful argument with my mom (who was simply reminding her of our offer to pick up my sister, her son, and the baby's father)... My sister said many unkind things and ended up declaring that no ride was needed -- none of them were coming for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, nor anytime in the near future.  We are apparently (IN HER MIND) not "worth" visiting since she decided (ON HER OWN) to only spend Thanksgiving with our side of the family (and not the baby's father's side of the family -- although she is living with them).

So the last time my sister and nephew came (aside from a few hours after a doctor visit the Monday after Thanksgiving) was on Thanksgiving Day.  They both stayed a few days then went back to the father's parents apartment.  Have not seen (in person nor in photos) either of them for nearly an entire month now. 

Plus, "to add insult to injury" as one might say, my sister also decided that instead of "allowing" us to drive her to work this Friday -- she had agreed we could watch the baby overnight for the first time ever (after saying she was "just joking" before when she sent a text saying none of us could watch the baby overnight ever because he had to stay where he could be taken care of -- !?!?!?!?!?!).... Anyway, my sister stated that since the baby's father's entire family could not join our immediate family brunch on Christmas Day that none of us are able to see nor the baby this holiday season.  The baby's father is supposed to re-enter rehab yet again on Dec. 30th so we shall see how long she will remain in the apartment with the baby, the baby's father's mother, and her two dogs.

In case you think I am blowing things out of proportion, being so hurt and upset about the new family of three not coming over for an hour or two on the baby's first Christmas -- they had planned (and will be going) to a Christmas Day afternoon/evening/overnight with the baby's father's side of the family (held at one of his cousins house).  We are blessed that God sent the most adorable little nephew/grandson -- yet I am so stuck on the fact that we are blocked from seeing him -- we love him and are absolutely more than capable of watching him!  My sister has a room here and the baby has his own space/clothing/books/etc which we provide for them...

Calling it a night. Going to help finish wrapping up some gifts and then try to get sleep.

Merry Christmas Eve -- may yours be MUCH better than mine! ::HUGS::

Catching up

Hello blog world ::HUGS:: Playing catch up with about eight months since I went *poof* from here...

First, my apologies.  I do not have any reasons that are "good enough" for not posting.  I have, however, been following as many of your blogs as often as I could have. Also there have been several major health issues in my immediate family but shall stick to the top three: both of my grandparents, and my only sibling, my younger (well, 26 to my 30 years) sister.

My grandfather had a major heart attack, was in the hospital for a while, then moved to home hospice care (couple smaller heart attacks at home) -- and now is recovering very well!! So thankful, and hospice care has been stopped because he has improved so much!  Able to go ahead and re-schedule his skin cancer removal surgery (on his cheek, under his eye) -- he now only has a tiny bandage instead of half his face covered in gauze!



While my grandfather was ill, my grandmother somehow hurt her back but did not want to "take attention away from my husband" -- well intentioned of her yet she now has a compressed vertebrae which will take at least three months to recover from.  Luckily my relatives have been able to purchase a zero-gravity chair for her which she is able to sleep in.  Apparently she had not slept in her bed for a while and simply declined to tell anyone until asked point blank.  (Really though, how am I to guess the exact questions?  Multiple family members play this "game" and I dislike having to guess to get answers!)  She too is healing which is lovely!

My younger sister found out that she was expecting, and I know she does not understand how blessed she was (and is!!!) with her pregnancy and new son. I prayed and have bent over backwards getting her doctors appointments (luckily with our parents help) and... just so thankful and grateful she only had one tiny bump in the road during the unexpected pregnancy.

(C going on nine months)

(Baby K at only ten minutes old!)

She and the boyfriend (fiance now) were both using substances they should not have - which only increased my anxiety - but both of them (and his family) seemed to only be familiar with the "pregnant equals healthy baby" story and I could not bear to share the stories I know nor connect her with people who have been/are going through so many struggles to get something so very very precious.  Between my own worries and my concern for others online I have waited until now to be able to say that she has a healthy baby boy who was just baptized last weekend!



Lots to talk about, however there are days to come...Love the holiday season so with Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years all coming up hopefully I will post more (my godson and his family visiting, baby K getting baptized, etc, etc) Happy Fall everyone!!

With My Sister

I found this photo today of my sister standing next to me on the deck of a cruise ship in summer of 2005 -- during hurricane season.  My parents, sister, and I all joined a pre-planned cruise that began in Los Angeles and ended in New Orleans. I used the term pre-planned because some extended (as in I had never met 95 percent of them before!) family members and their families from my dads side of the family tree apparently take annual vacations.  Note - this was the one and only time I attended, and as far as I know, the only time the four of us were invited.  I think another family "dropped out" at the last minute and we scrambled to get my sister and myself our first passports so we could even go!

Despite it being hurricane season (we did have to miss one of our ports of call plus stay out at sea one extra day because of smaller hurricanes in the Gulf of Mexico) -- we were SO BLESSED to escape Hurricane Katrina! We were out of New Orleans in late July (if I recall correctly) and Katrina hit in August 2005... Lots of memories from that trip, most great, unfortunately some of my mind feels as though it was erased :(

Everyone had a great time, despite the ups and downs in the weather.  I actually woke up one night and went over to the glass wall that faced the ocean and tried to get a good photograph (who am I kidding! A halfway decent photograph!) of an amazing lightning storm that went on for several hours.  Eventually I kept falling asleep in one of the two tiny chairs and had to go to bed again -- but I did get a photo of lightning stretching from the clouds in the sky all the way down to touching the ocean waves! Along with some others... however they were on a computer that died past the point of anything being saved.  I *think* I might have a print copy in a box somewhere (closet perhaps?) but am not sure.

Luckily this photo I had sent to my grandparents in an email, so I still have it available! The only thing I can tell for sure about where we were in our trip is that the ship had left Los Angeles and that we had at least made one port of call - Jamaica - because of the cloths we have on.  Also I recall that it was rare to have full sun, I think that it started pouring less than an hour after we had been walking on deck!

I can remember some details (such as the fact we only got to stay in New Orleans for one night instead of two nights because the ship had been ordered to stay at sea during one of the hurricanes)... I know we shrunk down to a group of perhaps a dozen family members (instead of the 30plus group we had been on the ship) because most of the family had only planned to stay one night in New Orleans.  I recall taking a trolly... that our hotel room had floor to ceiling windows (but they were narrow, not the length of the room)...  Bourbon Street after the sun had set after we checked in but prior to heading out to dinner... My poor sister had some sort of allergic reaction/rash that was so horrid we went straight to a local emergency room and waited (and missed joining on a large family dinner) -- thank goodness she ended up being helped and we made it through a great dinner at what we later learned was a great little corner restaurant "Mr. B's Bistro"??? I think??? ...So thankful my sister was cleared by the ER to fly back home!! The ER had not been 100 percent sure of their diagnoses but we had to get back... As I started out this rambling paragraph, I can remember some details very well because this was only the second time we had been on a cruise (as a family, plus it was a family reunion) -- also the other cruise was only three days, this one was somewhere closer to ten or eleven days long and I realized how much I love being on the ocean! I think that I was one of the few people happy that we had to miss one of our ports of call -- being my typical bookworm self, I got a treat of three chocolate-dipped strawberries, grabbed one of my books, and found a quiet space somewhere on the ship where I curled up in a comfy large chair/mini loveseat and read the book from cover to cover while looking out at the ocean!

...Lots of Rambling.  Perhaps you followed, perhaps not!  Either way, have a wonderful Saturday and if possible say hello to someone you care about!!