Back To December

I have mentioned before I enjoy listening to various music, but particularly to country and Christmas songs... This post has a song by Taylor Swift, but I chose this You.Tube video because it came from a television special where she describes why she wrote the song, and why this was filmed in New York. (She talks about how the song came about -- she includes that "In life we learn lessons, and sometimes we learn them too late...This song is an apology"). 

While I love the setting, the piano, the stringed instruments, everything live -- I feel sometimes like I owe people apologies, even if/after they have walked out of my life (acquaintances, friends, friends of friends, people I went to school with in elementary, high school, collage, friends who decided their paths were more important than staying in touch, etc).  No matter how people left me/hurt me/ignored me/moved on -- I still sometimes feel the need to apologize to them.  That is part of why this song draws me in.  Not only for the background and truth Taylor infused in it, but for the truths and correct memories and possibly incorrect memories that I have floating around in my mind.

**Note: This video (like many) can be increased to full-screen and you can enjoy it better : )

Song Lyrics for Back To December:
I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family.
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever,
We small talk, work and the weather,
Your guard is up and I know why.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping,
Staying up, playing back myself leavin'.
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.
Realized that I loved you in the fall.

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye".

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time.

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile,
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night --
The first time you ever saw me cry.

Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door I understand.

But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December...
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time.
All the time.