The world spins madly on

Love the art/dance/animation of this film and how the movement/effort put into this work matches the song

...The video is titled "Thought of You"
...The song is by the Weepies
...Song title "World Spins Madly On"

Song Lyrics:
Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on

I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on.

In this moment I feel so tired... Still feels like I am making little to no progress, even if that is not true... Time keeps slipping by

It's Ok Thursdays

I have noticed this image on several blogs, and there does not seem to be any specific group or other purpose than to use this image on any given Thursday (or use it every Thursday!) to post a list of things that are currently "Okay." Therefore I have decided to give it a try today (Thursday August 30, 2012) for the first time and just see what happens :)  The idea of just making a list starting with "It's Ok ___" and filling in the blank as many times as I can is an interesting idea.  So here we go!

*It's Ok... to love my godchildren to pieces and want to spend as much time as possible with them before they leave CA and return to France.

*It's Ok... to not feel happy about knowing my godchildren and their parents will be leaving for yet another year. We can email and although I will not see them on a weekly (ok, recently a daily) basis -- everything will work out.

*It's Ok... to feel so happy and loved that my godson did not want me to leave and wanted me to hold him instead of going to either of his parents!  (It was the first time in his life he has ever done that -- it does not make me insanely selfish, just a little selfish, to enjoy those unique few minutes! Besides, I do not know if it will happen again -- this time next year he might feel "too grown up" or "too old" to cling to his godmother).

*It's Ok... to not go for a walk if I do not feel up for it -- even though I know it is the healthy/better choice for me.  I am nowhere near overweight, but I do need to exercise more.  If I do not walk everyday however, the world is not going to come to an end.

*It's Ok... to love my only sister but not let her dictate how/when she can wander in and out of my life. The stress is not worth it and I have to put my health first without feeling guilty.

*It's Ok... to want to read various blogs even when people do not know who I am -- if they wanted their blog to be private they can change their settings.  In the meantime it's ok to enjoy learning new ideas and enjoying learning new things and reading about places I have never visited before.

*It's Ok... to play silly online games to distract myself from my health because I do what I can when I can (and I have never messed up my medication nor missed doctors appointments).  Some silly games can be a huge distraction/release without hurting anyone.

*It's Ok... to read as many books as I can/want to in any given week -- I love being a bookworm!

*It's Ok... to watch a lot of television (although I really should start limiting how often I have it on and look for other ways to occupy myself -- get back into crafts for example)

*It's Ok... to feel hurt when people decide they no longer want to be my friend.  Things happen for a reason and life goes on.
*It's Ok... to feel very badly when your life takes a direction you could never have anticipated, especially when those you grew up with/still are growing up with seem to have achieved so much more (letting those feelings sit however, is not okay -- living includes continuously adjusting and learning and trying again).

*It's Ok... to take a chance and deepen the level of trust between myself and a good friend -- having the opportunity to share ups and downs with a friend I can really trust has already started helping me feel better!

*It's Ok... to actively look out for a returning tv series when I loved it the first time around. "Just because I feel like it" can be a good enough reason.

*It's Ok... to eat an entire box of macaroni and cheese by myself as a complete meal.  Not including meat, veggies, etc has not hurt me yet and I doubt it will do so in the near future so I may as well enjoy it!
*It's Ok... to leave a note in a family member's lunch because today is their Happy Birthday!!

National Dog Day

I am posting a couple of photos of Zephyr, because I forgot that this past Sunday (August 26th) was National Dog Day for 2012!  He has been a part of the family for about six years now, and the vet guessed that he was close to two years old when we made him part of our family.  So our terrier/poodle mix (perhaps other breeds mixed in, but those are the two prominent ones) is roughly eight years old.  This is the first year I tried to make a note of the day, and since I am still within a few days it is not a complete loss/failure on my part -- right?  :)  Hope you enjoy the few photos -- he is darling especially right after a grooming!  Also previous dogs were large -- lab mixes -- so he still seems like a live stuffed animal most days and often curls up into a ball to sleep (leaving him about the size of a regular throw pillow!)

Hanging out in the backyard (2009)

 Christmas gift to the family from his groomer - wearing his hat! (2011)

  Escaping from the heat outside by resting on his blanket on the cool tile floor (2012)

You are never too old for a DISNEY movie!

I love this image! I believe that it is very true, "You are NEVER too old for a DISNEY movie"!! While I was getting items for "my France family" I found and picked up a copy of the movie "Tangled" -- prior to seeing it I was actually against the idea of Disney making a movie that was a twist/re-do of the story of Rapunzel but as circumstances turned out, the week it was released into theaters I was desperate for a break from real life -- and I loved the movie!  So when I came across this image online I knew I had to make a post that included it ^.^

P.S. Least there be the any doubt, I have loved Disney (not to mention Disneyland) since before I can remember, and all of the "Disney Classics" hold a place in my heart.  I hope everyone has a magical day today and finds some good memories in your own hearts!

"Goodnight Moon"

 The twins were so excited to see their "mix and match" pajama outfits tonight that they had to immediately pull off what they were wearing to change into their "animal" tops (they liked the matching pieces as well -- at this point in time they are both currently interested in pretending they are various animals). I choose these two "mix and match" pajama sets because they reminded me so much of each individual! While both of them love to talk, ask questions, explain, etc I tend to see my godson watching/absorbing information moreso than his sister who, of the two, loves to dance and spin more than her brother. (Of course they both love to run around, but this summer they absolutely have different personalities -- much clearer than last summer).

I was thrilled when they both went directly to pajama set that had the animal I had chosen for them -- I had made sure to hold the pajama sets at the same height and distance from the two of them so they could look and choose for themselves (they both wear any and all colors of the rainbow and often wear clothing that was initially meant for the other twin -- but they are growing and having fun safely so it does not really matter what they wear right now...Am sure that when they become teenagers for example they might think about/develop some type of fashion sense which I entirely lack!  If I can get away with it I usually wear jeans and a top or pajamas myself!)

Before I forget I wanted to make sure to explain another habit of the twins that pulls at my heart, it always brings a smile to my face!  Every time I see them, when the sun starts to set -- rather, as soon as the moon is visible -- "Goodnight moon" starts.  The twins love being able to find the moon (although they currently still get confused and ask an adult near them "Moon!! Star? Where star?" because it is usually not dark enough to see the stars unless they are in the spa or walking around the house well after the sun has set. They love looking for the moon through the windows of center rooms of the house, as well as being carried around the house on a walk and looking up at the sky (sometimes walking on their own, holding an adults hand). They started "Goodnight Moon" at bedtime and their version is a four-line prayer/song that goes as follows: "I see the moon and the moon sees me/ God bless the moon and God bless me!" Then they finish with a wave or a kiss to the moon and in the same sing-song voice they say "Goodnight moon" ... I do not want to think of the exact number of days, but the family is less than two weeks away from returning to France : (  I shall miss them all terribly I know, as I have the past two summers (the first summer they were born, 2010, I arranged their private baptism ceremony before they had arrived, and became a godmother for the very first time! So lucky and blessed in many areas of my life!)... This is their third summer, and I think it might be the most difficult because of the growth, the understanding, the language explosion, the individuals (vs "twins"), the connections that have grown... Luckily I have time still and am welcome to visit!  Shall continue to take photos and once they return I shall be emailed photos once a month (or more!)

As for the "solid" pajamas, on the left is the solid match for my godsons pajamas: an olive green background with multiple large dogs wearing red collars and multiple small dogs wearing blue collars; there is a pale brown color at the neckline, wrists, and pant ankles.  On the right is the solid match for his sister: a light grey background with tiny white hearts and bright pink trim at the neckline, wrists, and pant ankles.

Toy Train Cars

Somehow I always run out of time to write at the end of the day to make my personal goal of writing something daily!  I am going to perhaps start writing my entries during "the wee small hours of the morning" in order to write everything I want to include in that particular post!  Oh well :)  Look how cute the four wooden toy train cars are in this photo at the top! I already mentioned getting gifts for my godson and his twin sister ("my godchildren") to have before they return to their home in France but -- apparently the pj's I got were too small so they had to be returned.  Great news however is that they were able to get a train set instead!  Both of the twins (and several of their friends back home!) enjoy and often fight over pieces of a single train car, so now there will be more to share which is wonderful... I also am going to try and make it to Target tomorrow early afternoon before visiting again and get a larger size (and take photos!) of the pajama mix and match sets.  Aside from being too small there was not a problem -- and apparently at least one of the DVDs was already opened and used yesterday!  Am so glad I get to spoil them at least a *tiny* bit, really will be sad when the family leaves in less than two weeks.... Oh!  I found the twins enjoying "swimming" again today when I arrived, so cute!  (They sit in the spa with their parents, hold their hands -- or my hands -- and jump.  It's adorable even when I get splashed, they have so much fun! I have one blurry photo, if I can get a better one I shall post it but if not perhaps just the blurry one because it is better than nothing!)

Almost a quarter to midnight so I am going to just leave myself a little reminder here: 1 of 2 Write about the books I have been reading (some are re-reads from elementary school, some turned up on the library assorted shelf, some were new, and some were recently re-read books) and 2 of 2 Post at least a photo or two from walking.

This second photo shows two of the four wooden toy train cars (just because I could add another photo)

Winnie The Pooh

"Some people care too much... I think it's called love..." ~Winnie The Pooh

When I was little, Winnie the Pooh was one of my favorite stories/characters/songs... I found this image online (as usual!) and decided to have it head this post because it touches so many aspects/memories/current activities in my life : )  First and foremost I love my family and friends! Obviously I enjoy reading, the life of Winnie the Pooh was quite interesting to me.  Then yesterday, after the surprise tea party (birthday party) where I got to spend time with my godchildren, I was able to visit Target and get some gifts for them to take back to France -- including, as you might have guessed, the "original" Winnie the Pooh DVD.  I hope they will enjoy it (my first choice was obviously books but they have acquired many during their visit and are low on DVDs to enjoy when they leave so ones like "Dora the Explorer" -- another current favorite -- were chosen instead).  Oh!  With the help of their dad I also got two "mix and match" pajama sets for them which I found adorable -- but forgot to grab photos of!  Perhaps tomorrow I will get a chance to go spend some time with them.  If so I will take some pictures, if not I shall give a brief description of each in another post.

7pm and although I have read another book I have not yet gone for a walk so I need to get off the computer and shall probably head towards the park.  Halfway through another weekend

Putting one foot in front of the other

I feel as though I am just going through the motions, trying hard to put one foot in front of the other.  Try to take care of the dog, waking up, most days staying in pjs (not able to work right now due to health stuff - frustrating and stressful but sometimes I can ignore that) yet other days pushing to get dressed even if I stay inside, picking books to re-read or movies to re-watch, finding shows on television to watch, reading new books (photo above is "Swimming Lessons" by Mary Alice Monroe which I started and finished reading yesterday), helping around the house (particularly washing dishes), doing laundry (finally washed all of my bedding as well -- aside from my throw blanket but that's fine it is still warm out)...

Unfortunately still become very annoyed when the telephone wakes me up --  FIVE phone calls between 9:44am and 10:04am today -- I have rambled about how I am a NIGHT OWL and being woken up early usually indicates a bad day for me?  Hmm... Moving on -- yesterday I helped make three different types of tea sandwiches, having a surprise birthday tea party this afternoon for a family friend (also taking the birthday cake over and helping set up) so I am keeping this short.  Probably will not post again today and might even try to squeeze in a nap if possible!  Have picked two new books to read -- and am very much hoping to spend more time with "my" France family because my godson will be going home in about a week and a half!! Sad to be losing that wonderful opportunity to always have a smile brought to my face.  Enjoy the time I have left with them, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and try to find little projects to help pass the time.  Hoping everyone has a wonderful Friday

EDIT: I forgot to comment on this book!  "Swimming Lessons" surrounds sea turtles and closely follows four friends who journey the highs and lows of life -- I found it to be a good and moving book that is worth re-reading.  Life lessons...

Back To December

I have mentioned before I enjoy listening to various music, but particularly to country and Christmas songs... This post has a song by Taylor Swift, but I chose this You.Tube video because it came from a television special where she describes why she wrote the song, and why this was filmed in New York. (She talks about how the song came about -- she includes that "In life we learn lessons, and sometimes we learn them too late...This song is an apology"). 

While I love the setting, the piano, the stringed instruments, everything live -- I feel sometimes like I owe people apologies, even if/after they have walked out of my life (acquaintances, friends, friends of friends, people I went to school with in elementary, high school, collage, friends who decided their paths were more important than staying in touch, etc).  No matter how people left me/hurt me/ignored me/moved on -- I still sometimes feel the need to apologize to them.  That is part of why this song draws me in.  Not only for the background and truth Taylor infused in it, but for the truths and correct memories and possibly incorrect memories that I have floating around in my mind.

**Note: This video (like many) can be increased to full-screen and you can enjoy it better : )

Song Lyrics for Back To December:
I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family.
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever,
We small talk, work and the weather,
Your guard is up and I know why.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping,
Staying up, playing back myself leavin'.
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.
Realized that I loved you in the fall.

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye".

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time.

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile,
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night --
The first time you ever saw me cry.

Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door I understand.

But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December...
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time.
All the time.

Bird Update and Dog Walk

The photo is a bit on the blurry side, but Zephyr was apparently very ready for a walk and I could not get him to hold still!  We did not go too far, but he had a good time (particularly when he tried making friends with an unfriendly dog -- luckily that dog was across the street but it still growled at him!)

As far as my "Poor Bird" post -- great news!  The next morning there was no bird, no signs of blood, animal attacks, or random feathers -- so am hoping that the bird make it to a safe spot and is in the process of healing! Alright, that was my brief update : )

Leaf blower = Bad Morning

So I am just in a bad/grumpy/tired/exhausted mood this morning and hoping that writing a brief blurb will help me not feel so irrationally upset/mad/bothered.  I am very much of a night owl, I go to bed late and I sleep in late.  Being woken up after only about four hours of sleep because the neighbors gardener was using a weed wacker and leaf blower to clean up their yard caused the dog to bark/howl/run around trying to "protect" from the evil that he views gardeners as.  Alright, once is usually okay and I calm him down and fall back asleep.  However the neighbor in the back also decided to do yard work (including a weed wacker) prior to 9:30am and so the dog went into a second frenzy and I have not been able to even pretend to nap so I am just in a very bad mood.... I have so many other things I *could* be upset about this is absurd and yet frustrating at the same time.  So yes, woke up in a bad mood and have not been able to shake it.  Now after 11am -- hoping to do/find something that will turn today around.  I feel so done/finished with today already and want to "throw in the towel" as some phrase it -- all over some stupid yard equipment and nonsense! Am very annoyed with myself.  Also so ...tired...

Poor bird

Couple of things today... Since it is the only non-blurry image I have, today my blog is starting with this poor bird. When I re-entered my front yard this evening it was dark and I saw a dark blob that was clearly a creature of some sort so I took the dog inside (he was trying to get closer), grabbed a camera and headed back outside.  A few feet away I saw it was a bird but it did not look like it had moved at all so I crouched down and slowly inched closer to it.  When I was perhaps a foot or so away, it suddenly flung itself off the ground, sort of rolling itself away from me, moving closer to the base of the low wall that holds a row of plants in front of the house.  As it was in motion, it appeared as though one of the wings was sprained/broken.  Aside from that I could not tell what was wrong -- both legs looked almost exactly the same (ie neither leg was clearly broken) and there was no blood anywhere.

The poor bird was clearly scared though, and both all-black eyes seemed to stare at me in scared shock while its chest rose and fell nearly as quickly as the tiny hummingbirds that come to feed in the back yard.  I called a family friend for guidance (their backyard opens onto a canyon and they often deal with more animals than I do -- this was my first injured bird ever, unfortunately I usually find dead animals).  After describing what happened, the fact that the bird was still not moving (aside from its chest there was not even a twitch of the tail)... It appeared as though the poor bird was not going to welcome any help (its breathing became more ragged even as I was talking) and I did not want to try and make it more stressed.  So I left it in the front yard and returned to the house feeling both guilty yet fairly certain that trying to touch it (using cardboard from a shoebox or perhaps a shovel) would not help it.

About two and a half hours later I went out to check on it and it had moved about a foot, maybe two, to hide (at least I assume it moved to hide, but maybe it is slowly traveling to the far side of the yard where there is a tree instead of being on cement??)  underneath my aunts car.  Her car is here temporarily, perhaps for a week or so, due to some sort of engine trouble.  Tomorrow I shall go looking for it again -- it was obviously not doing well but still -- it managed to move a bit on its own... Maybe it will have traveled a bit more tomorrow?  Shall wait and see...

Only other item to really add (well, two items) both are results of my doctors appointments I mentioned in earlier posts.  Amongst other things was suggested I go on daily walks with Zephyr (dog) -- we were out on a walk this evening (earlier in the day has not been an option due to the heat we have been having)... Hence my reference at the start of this entry that I was "re-entering the yard" -- I had started out later than planned because I was on the phone with my grandparents and the sun had already set so we really were only out for somewhere between five and ten minutes.  Yes, I know that is not a long walk at all, but it was just getting too dark to feel safe/comfortable so I turned around pretty quickly.  Second item:  my blood tests/results came back and the only thing they could find was my levels of vitamin D are a bit low so starting soon (perhaps tomorrow if I get to the store) I am to start taking daily supplements to see if that helps anything.  Well, good thing my blog title warns that I ramble!  Finished for now though, hope today went okay for all!

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Today I am giving out the "Very Inspiring Blogger Award" because I have several people I only/primarily communicate with via blogs or Face.Book who are sources of inspiration to me.  They may not realize it, but each of the individuals I am giving this award to today have helped me and I want to give this award as a thank you.  Each of you have had, and are continuing to have, various ups and downs in your lives.  Whether we communicate frequently or rarely, I have followed each of your journeys.  I want to say thank you to each of you for your strength in your own battles, congratulate you on the achievements you have/had, and express my sorrow at the troubles that you have/had.  Thank you all for sharing your stories and being sources of inspiration to me.
(Also to everyone who reads this and thinks they should have been nominated please feel free to add yourself/this award to your page.  There are some who do not blog, and many blogs that could be nominated -- but my personal "cap" is five, so I broke/changed the rule that suggested 15 blogs were to be nominated).

The "Very Inspiring Blogger Award" rules are as follows:
1. Post the award image on your page.
2. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.
3. List seven random facts about yourself.
4. Nominate ___ other blogs for this award.   (I left a blank because other blogs suggested anywhere from 10 to 15 blogs -- I leave the number up to you)
5. Notify the individuals you have nominated.

Seven Random Facts About Myself:
1. I still have a visible line (hopefully it will NOT turn into my first scar!) on my left knee where the family dog accidentally scratched me with one of his nails during a particularly loud round of fireworks on July 4th (2012)
2. Although I am lucky enough to have learned both Spanish and American Sign Language (ASL), lack of use has rapidly been deteriorating my speaking ability.  (This knowledge was emphasized about a week ago when I received an email from family friends in Mexico and spent longer than needed to get through two short paragraphs!)
3. The last two months my health, which had been fairly stable for the past eight years, has decided to spiral randomly.  Some days are good and others are not (three doctors visits and no conclusive results yet. Am waiting).
4. Two summers ago I became a godmother to a boy who has a twin sister (they live in France but visit CA in the summer) and on my good health days I try to spend anywhere from one to six hours at their house playing with them and helping out however I can!
5. This blog was abandoned by me for a while but I returned this summer determined to write something every single day.  I have only missed one day so far this month so I declare it a tentative success
6. I would do pretty much anything for my family and friends (likely for their family and friends as well -- it helps me feel like I am giving back/accomplishing something by helping in any way I can -- including thanking a few of the many people who inspire me by giving them a blog award!)
7. I love to read books! (I believe I started reading 'chapter' books on my own by the time I turned six.  Up until I received my bachelor's degree -- okay, sometimes after -- I always had at least one book with me at all times, including in the trunk of my car, just in case some time became free and I could squeeze in another chapter)

For the "Very Inspiring Blogger Award" I nominate the following five individuals/blogs:
1. A. at Dwelling on Dreams
2. E. at a blanket 2 keep
3. L. at Flotsam and Jetsam
4. M. at Adventures of the Rempfer Pack
5. N. at Welcome to Nathalieland



Thank you to everyone who reads my blog and thank you to everyone who participates/sends forward this award!

Playing (technically exercise)

So as previously mentioned, Friday night there was fun talking and eating ice cream... Yesterday (Saturday) I more than made up for my lack of five to ten minutes of walking by playing!  Yes, it is exercise when it is done for four wonderful hours with your godson and his twin sister (both just under two and a half years old).  Everyone had a great time I think -- their parents got to take turns resting (by "resting" of course, I am implying they got a few minutes here and there to eat dinner, work on their laptops, etc alone)

Since they are often in France (and I have not been able to play -- I don't call it work really) with young children, having this ("my" family -- the mom and I have been friends for about two decades??) family here in CA is really great.  I get to relax, have fun, play games, go on walks, and basically have tons of assorted adventures that fly by quickly because usually the interest in any particular toy/activity is limited because of the twins current age.

I was also able to see them today (Sunday) however that turned out to be for only about an hour -- there were other guests and it was a "before dinner" visit -- but there was still time to walk around with one of the twins and to receive hugs and kisses from both of them : )

Have to post because I really want to try and do one blog a day -- tomorrow I want to send out blog awards to several blogs that I am inspired by (especially when my health puts me in a bad/sad mood).  11:58pm!  Getting this in "by the skin on my teeth" as it has been said -- Good Night/Good Morning All!

Strawberries, Cantaloupe, and Green Grapes, Oh My!

As the title says - Strawberries, Cantaloupe, and Green grapes, Oh My! - this is a photo of one of my recent snacks : )  I would usually include watermelon as well, but did not have any, although I did have cherries as a side snack (at a different time yesterday).  So aside from some of my favorite fruits I read a "new" book (from the library stack I mentioned yesterday) and I am partway through the second book in the Hunger Games Trilogy (shall finish that one off today).

The downside is that I did not make it for a walk at all yesterday (finished the library book just after 9pm and did not want to go out walking alone in the dark). Also today is still warm, although not as bad as previous days so I'll take it!

My mind keeps wandering to my health, so instead I am going to prepare to post blog awards to people tomorrow I think : )  Dog needs to go out, shall have to leave you now...

Awww... The sky is crying

Okay, not really -- but it would be nice if there could be a bit of rain.  Turns out I spoke too soon about a change in the weather.  Technically the temperature has dropped, however, the humidity levels have risen and I am pretty sure I enjoy a higher dry heat in comparison to this lower humid heat.  Oh well!  Time goes by quickly most days and hopefully tomorrow shall bring lower humidity levels!  The temperature will continue to decrease so that is positive news at least : )

I finished re-reading the Harry Potter books and am on book two of three in the Hunger Games Trilogy (again, re-reading) but I might pause because there is a stack of new library books that beckon.  Debating and shall attempt to finish four books (the rest of the trilogy and two new books) in addition to spending time with my godson and his whole family before Monday night.  I also need to take the dog for a walk but with this weather even evening walks seem too warm... Am making sure to drink lots of water and more fruit than I usually do, but at the moment I spy a box of wheat thin crackers and some cream cheese that are calling to me -- off to snack!  Have a great Friday!

Paper Creation

This is one of the best paper creations I have found online in ages!  Unfortunately I cannot find the article I saved the picture from, but I remember it described this paper creation took ONE PERSON FOUR YEARS to create! The individual who made this thought out the design, put lights under/in it, and folded paper to create this display which was photographed by many people as it was on display.  I shall have to look into trying to find the article when I have a bit more time...

In the next week or two I want to be sure to nominate several people for the Sunshine Award (given to bloggers whose blogs inspire me -- some of them have no clue I have been following them, so I hope no one is bothered if I nominate them out of the blue! Perhaps I should try to message them first?)... I also want to do a blog entry for those who I am praying for.  My prayer list has grown exponentially in the past two months -- yet that might be a blog I should not end up writing.  Not that I would stop praying and sending good thoughts to those who need them/want them/have asked for them -- I do not want to have anyone offended or have information shared if it is to remain private.  Perhaps I shall choose one of my candle images and post various positive/supportive quotes instead...

Sorry, that's it tonight folks!  Happy Thursday to all

Temperatures dropping!

After more than a week the temperatures are finally dropping! Very good news...Also I have been able to just read, relax, and rest the past few days.  Due to the heat I haven't gone to the movies yet (something I haven't done in about a month, but there are some previews that look interesting and I have a friend willing to go with me) so I plan to go in the next week sometime :)

Brief health update - no news is good news, right?  I think I mentioned that my two appointments last Thursday did not turn up anything, and so far my blood work is still out so no news there.  I have another appointment tomorrow (Thursday -- perhaps I should try to schedule everything for Thursdays and make them my "doctor day"?  Nah, would rather skip them all if I could)...

Still wanting to make sure I write something every day, this post is slipping in just after 11:30pm!  Good thing my appointment tomorrow is in the afternoon, shall go finish reading my current chapter (okay, maybe one or two extras!) then sleep.  I am so thankful for my parents and grandparents in particular, and for Zephyr (yes, even though I just posted about him leaving that mark on my leg it is going away and he is a good dog).  I need to find a way (or several) to reach out and be a more active friend/acquire friends who can pull me out of my comfort zone a bit.  After I figure out what my body is up to that is.  Goodnight!

Night Owl

I have been a night owl for (at the very least) the second half of my life.  I think part of the reason is summed up well by a quote I have inserted above - "I want to sleep, but my brain won't stop talking to itself." I tend to want to read, write, watch tv, or be comfortable out in nature (ie blanket to sit on/watch the moon, stars, trees, ocean waves)... I find that recently I feel both lonely and alone instead of just enjoying being alone.  Not sure if that is good (my brain is trying to help me build relationships) or bad (my brain is trying to push people away) -- yet either way I am currently enjoying various tv shows and reading.  Rather, I have spent quite a bit of time re-reading books/series that I own or enjoy, and some time (usually 8pm-9pm) watching something on tv.  After dinner through perhaps 2am or 3am (minus the tv show/shows) I am reading and enjoying myself.  Have seen blogs with bookshelves before, perhaps I shall look into getting that or simply create a list of books/authors that I am particularly fond of.  Okay, nearly 3am and I really should stop - not to worry, there are doctors appointments (for myself and for my grandparents) as well as other scheduled activities as early as Thursday afternoon which force my pattern to change.  Enough rambling, off to bed!

Ouch : (

Considering we are having a week of temperatures between 100 and 110 degrees, the fact that our dog is over eight years old (only supposed to live up to ten years if I recall correctly), and that this is only the third time he has ever bitten anyone... I have one word - Ouch

He is normally a very friendly dog, I just got in between him and another family member while it was dark (all the lights were turned off so windows and doors could be open to let cool air in -- no air conditioning in the house makes things QUITE toasty)...I made a mistake yet luckily the bite is on my thigh so it never bothered my movement at all.  It just hurt at first! The photo on the left was the night I was bitten, August 9th, the one on the right from today (August 14th).  It looks worse in both photos than it actually is (I can press on the bruising/yellow area without any pain, just need to avoid the actual bite).  Just felt like posting one of my rare injuries -- I have never had anything broken, and only once in my life have I sprained something.  Since my 30th birthday is less than a year away I do have a lot to be thankful for!

Oh!  I was able to add a "ticker" (that is what they are called, right?) at the bottom of my page for my godson and his twin sister as a birthday counter/ticker.  Have spent several hours at least twice this past week with them which I love being able to do!!  Changed my FB cover photo to me reading with my godson actually -- they are wonderful blessings in my life and I am lucky to have them, their parents, and the whole family as part of my family since I was...perhaps seven years old?  The parents and three children have expanded (two of the three children are married and have children of their own -- and I became a godmother).

I do need to comment more on blogs/FB pages/send more emails out so I do not feel like I am excluding anyone from my life -- seeing as I am much more of an introvert and would rather curl up with the dog and a book this is actually a challenge for me.  Meeting up in person has become an even greater challenge the past few years (I got sick about eight years ago and life has changed since)...Life will continue to fluctuate.  I shall continue to try and adapt -- and of course enjoy what I can : )

2012 Olympic Games Ended

So the Summer 2012 Olympic Games ended... The above image (of the full moon "added" to the Olympic rings hanging from Tower Bridge!) was unfortunately one of the best images I found online during/after the closing ceremony yesterday.  The ceremony disappointed me but perhaps I was not interested in the shortened version shown in CA??  Having the games in London was great because I love reading historical fiction that surrounds King Henry VIII, his wives, and his children (and their reigns after he passed).  Personally I slowed my watching of the games as time went on.

Today the heat has begun to slowly gone down -- the heat wave we have been experiencing has drained my energy.  I am looking forward to getting out a bit, continuing to read, and perhaps getting some people to reach out to me.  I have been reaching out to people who used to be friends, or who are currently more of acquaintances, but I really want to be a friend in their life.  There is a variety, some are going through rough periods of time, some are holding steady, and others are doing well -- all of them are (as coincidence has it) not responding to me at all.  At least not via text, blog, email, cell, FB (facebook), in person....

Trying to find and enjoy the little things in life! : )  Have been following several blogs for some time now, not spending time leaving messages though.  Maybe if I put more into at least those blogs I can get some communication that I am currently feeling a lack of? ...Finished reading another new book today, that was another good thing

Image found online

Most of my images I tend to find online -- either via goo.gle or FB -- and this is no exception.  "Always smile back at little children.  To ignore them is to destroy their belief that the world is good." There is at least one more I wanted to add here but I can't find it at the moment.  I love spending time around little kids, I went back to school to get my second degree in child development with an emphasis on infants/toddlers.  The 0-5 year old group are my favorite because they learn, change, grow, etc SO MUCH every single week of their lives!  I love being a part of that, whether it is for months at a time, or just a few hours.  They make me smile and give me energy and hope.

Last night I went to spend a couple of hours with my godson and his twin sister -- it was so lovely spending time with the entire family!  Also because of the warm weather the family slide was brought inside (with a couch cushion at the end so none of the kids would get hurt landing on the tiles!)... The twins loved their matching Elmo outfits (a must because they both love Elmo at this time and would fight over who got to wear the "better" outfit) -- then a book for my godson and a package of hair clips for his sister... Stickers for their cousin and juice boxes for all :)

Tonight is the closing ceremony for the summer Olympics.  Already...I don't know where the time goes.  I shall try to watch as much as I can and perhaps post a few images (as I did for the opening ceremony) in tomorrow's post.  Am still keeping with my goal of writing a little something every day!  Too hot to write more now (over 100 still in the shade at half past six) so am going to end here.  Have a great evening everyone!

Honey Bee, Ice Cream, and Baptisms

Another country song I love -- "Honey Bee" by Blake Shelton (try this link if the video doesn't work, it's worth watching! http://youtu.be/xZjosn2u1gA) "If you’ll be my soft and sweet/ I’ll be your strong and steady/ You be my glass of wine/ I’ll be your shot of whiskey/ You be my sunny day/ I’ll be your shade tree/ You be my honeysuckle/ I’ll be your honey bee"

Last night the twins were already asleep before we arrived, but the rest of us enjoyed a lovely ice cream evening and talked for a while!  Three flavors of ice cream, two syrups (chocolate or caramel) plus three types of sprinkles -- we forgot the whipped cream but everyone had a great time anyway!

Sometime today am planning on going over again because August 11th is the anniversary of the twins baptism/me becoming a godmother!  Of course I am going to visit just for love and fun, but also taking them small gifts because I can :)  Have a great weekend!  Tomorrow, Sunday, is already closing day for the Summer Olympics!  Hope everyone has watched at least something and enjoyed part of the every-four-years fun!

Snow

With the temperature still in the triple digits I felt that titling this blog "snow" was appropriate. Not only does it remind me of times I have been in the snow with family/friends, it will hopefully play some sort of psychological trick on my mind and help me feel cooler.  Yes, I am aware of how silly that sounds.  But I also get to use an image I found awhile back and I like, so it works for today :)

Yesterday, as anticipated, was a long day.  Not anticipated: the funeral took over two hours (which pushed the hour and a half to get to the doctor down to thirty minutes therefore visiting with the family or going to the gathering afterwords was not possible).  Another not anticipated negative: after completing both appointments nothing solid appeared to be wrong so I was sent to have lots of blood drawn (unexpected bonus -- I did not faint while having my blood drawn!).... Worst not anticipated moment of the day?  After returning home, blasting the air conditioning and taking a nap -- went towards the front door and the dog (who was very hot and crabby and whatnot) decided I was trying to attack or something so he leapt from where he was (in the dark I didn't see him by the front door) and he bit me on my thigh.  NOT PLEASANT AT ALL. Then apparently I didn't keep ice on it long enough because when I woke up today the bite mark had swollen slightly and has a blue/purple ring around the area.  BLARGH.

Today has been better, and I will have a wonderful time at the end of the day because in two hours I am going to spend the evening visiting/playing with my godson and his twin sister!  Even if they both happen to be in bad moods I will still get to see them, their parents, and the rest of the family (all of whom I consider to be my family).  So the day will end on a good note.  Plus if I am awake enough I will watch whatever the Olympics have on when I return home.  Also I have been good about blogging daily, even if I am rambling/all over the place -- am smiling in anticipation of tonight which is lovely!  Have a great Friday everyone!

The numbers keep climbling

"Love the people God gave you because He will need them back one day."

The numbers keep climbing: the temperature keeps rising, four family friends have passed away in four weeks, another funeral today followed by two doctors appointments this afternoon (and at least one more appt next week).  I keep reading so many tentative/solid happy stories of many other friends/families lives and I am happy and thankful for them -- but on mornings like today (9:53am) I have to make myself sit and remember the good.  Also how I will keep pushing to make others happy because it is something that I can control (well, the pushing is sometimes seen as rude) -- but I have a need to help others, make something for them, do something... it helps me feel like I matter/make a difference in a positive way.

Not sure if I'll write again today -- hope everyone finds something happy or good or positive today!!

Over 100 again

Multiple days of very hot weather have made me cranky, so this will be a very short post because I am going to go into the one air-conditioned space and just RELAX -- or at least try to!  Perhaps late tonight I shall write a "real" blog post but I do not think that will happen today.  Tomorrow is a new day :)
P.S. Yes, living in Southern California I did feel the 4.4 earthquake last night, however none since (aftershocks etc)

Frustrated

I am frustrated, stressed, tired, etc recently.  I posted an image above that says "I can't promise you a perfect relationship, but what I can promise you is that if you're trying, I'm staying." ... I see relationships as everything from good acquaintances to friends to romantic connections and it is just very frustrating/stressful to me that I keep trying and I reach out and am ignored, rejected, or unintentionally hurt and I feel left alone.  Returning to this blog was a way I decided to force myself to try and communicate better, even if no one reads it.  I will keep trying and perhaps someone around me will hear me and respond.  (I am full of negativity in several of these recent posts, I need to work on posting some positive things, like the great sunset photos I've taken or me reading to my godson)... Think I'll go start a new book, or perhaps see what the Olympics are up to tonight...

"Keep Calm"

I usually use the "Keep Calm And Carry On" sign that I have leaning against the corner of my kitchen wall (yes, I am too lazy to find a proper way to actually hang it on the wall) but I came across this twist and felt it was a great image to save and use :)

Disneyland always is a wonderful place for me to be able to visit.  Although I do live in Southern California, I have only once owned an Annual Pass (AP) and I do not visit anywhere near often enough.  Each time however, I make sure that I reach inside and find my inner child -- whether it is a visit on a warm (usually hot!) summer day or it is specially decorated for a holiday (Christmas is my favorite, Halloween second favorite).

Along with my love of spending time with little kids, I particularly enjoy spending time with children at Disneyland.  Despite the inevitable exhaustion at the end of the day/trip, they make everything even more magical.  I really want to be with my godchildren the first time they visit Disneyland, I believe it will be a very special experience.  There is a single framed photo of the first time my younger sister went to Disneyland (the photo just has "the girls" -- I assume my Dad took the photo -- and it includes several generations which makes it all the more special!)

Wishing everyone equal parts magic, hope, happiness, and fairy dust!

Missing Post

Earlier I wrote what was, even by my standards, quite a rambling post.  It was also very long -- VERY long.  Therefore I have deleted it and am going to remind you of a few things I really love: my parents, family, reading, spending time in nature, playing with (teaching) little kids, music... Every day is different and one of my favorite times of the year is the end of December because I celebrate Christmas. I know "Christmas in June" can be common for some -- this post is now my own bit of "Christmas in August" (well, via a You Tube video!)

http://youtu.be/5g4lY8Y3eoo

Enjoy the talented Judy Garland singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" (Sorry, I could not get the video to post, but the link takes you straight to the video -- also the photo is just a random one from google)

Not Quite Yet

It takes time, trials, and trying again -- but I have been able to keep hitting happy moments/days/weeks.  I have not quite yet been able to find a "forever" type of continuous happiness but most of the time I have been doing alright.  As I mentioned awhile back, I love country music.  One of the many groups I listen to is Rascal Flatts and the lyrics to their song "Stand" helps me on those not-so-great days :)  Am so thankful for the people I have been able to visit with (and for those who live farther away for calling and chatting or sending emails).  And I wasn't quite honest when coming back to this blog -- my health is being insanely frustrating and I have started to schedule various appointments.  It really helps me to create things/do things for others and to be able to spend time with young children (especially my godson and his twin sister!)  So blessed to have my parents and other family/friends who love and support me unconditionally.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lyrics to "Stand" by Rascal Flatts (shall try to post the video too)
You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

[Chorus:]
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

[Repeat Chorus]

Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Oh

[Repeat Chorus]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Courage...

Sometimes I do not know how much time has passed. My memory is no longer as reliable as it used to be.  Then time plays tricks on me, perhaps just to make things more...Interesting? A day can feel like a decade or a mere handful of seconds.  My days recently (and by recently I think I mean for the past few months) -- they have mostly been me existing.  I do have times when I am happy and enjoy certain events/people and have good memories, but often it is just me putting one foot in front of the other. I have learned that this is okay -- no, this is better than okay, because I am not giving up.  I keep fighting through the bad days and try to smile when sick.

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes, courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow."

Every day that I find something good, do something for another person, continue moving (instead of sliding backwards) -- especially the days when I am sick and get through it so I can see the next day -- the wonderful perfect times and the one foot in front of the other times -- it all takes different levels/different types of courage.

Happiness...

So many ups and downs in the past few years -- I wanted to share a quote I have had before I turned my brain off for the night.  Sending support, goodwill, prayers, etc to all ::HUGS::

"Happiness is like a butterfly.
The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you turn your attention to other things,
It comes and sits softly on your shoulder."
~Henry David Thoreau